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Today's Wish

By Miya Ko, Mar 30, 2014.

More work by Miya Ko
  1. Miya Ko

    Miya Ko Literary Polyphonist

    I want you
    to bring me flowers
    like only you who know
    about spring.

    I want you
    to tell me stories
    as if you are Chekhov
    in Calvin Klein underwear.

    I want you
    to dim the light
    as if you are God
    on the last day.

    I want you
    to  fuck me
    like how Hawking does it
    mentally.
     
  2. Roger Fizzerton

    Roger Fizzerton Well-Known Member

    Like this a lot Miya, though not keen on last stanza, which to me wastes the fine whimsey you've worked up before, without be shocking enough to produce a benefit of humor.

    I especially enjoy:

    excellent!


    Featuring, before anyone else does.


    Roger
     
  3. Vidya Panicker

    Vidya Panicker Well-Known Member

    LOL Miya! Love this write :)
     
    Jay Gandhi likes this.
  4. Bethany Lim

    Bethany Lim not looking

    I love it until the last word.  For some reason "mentally" falls flat for me, sound-wise and image-wise.
     
    Cheryl.Leverette likes this.
  5. John Johnson

    John Johnson Well-Known Member

    I wonder why you switched to Hawking (from Erdos). They certainly both fuck people, but in different ways.
     
  6. Michael Ashley

    Michael Ashley Fuckwit Extraordinaire

    Enjoyed this Miya. I'd lose the "how" before Hawking, and "it" after does in the final stanza.

    Strong.
     
    Cheryl.Leverette and Bethany Lim like this.
  7. Miya Ko

    Miya Ko Literary Polyphonist

    Thank you, guys.

    I ditch Erdos because he's not as known as Hawking.

    Mentally is important because this is sex between nerds/geeks/dorks-- arts (1st), literature (2nd), theology (3rd), science (4th).

    Miya
     
  8. maggie flanagan-wilkie

    maggie flanagan-wilkie Well-Known Member

    I want you
    to  fuck me
    the way Hawking
    does it—

    mentally.
     
    Cheryl.Leverette likes this.
  9. Desiree Wright

    Desiree Wright Alphabetter

    Maybe Hawkings can't think it up..

    Enjoyed.  Thanks for the read.  D
     
    Scott Douglas likes this.
  10. Bethany Lim

    Bethany Lim not looking

    These suggestions fix my sound issue with "mentally" - it was the "it" that was messing up my read.  Good ear, Michael!
     
    Cheryl.Leverette likes this.
  11. Michael Ashley

    Michael Ashley Fuckwit Extraordinaire

    To picks Miya.
     
  12. Michael Ashley

    Michael Ashley Fuckwit Extraordinaire

    Even though you ignored my advice darling. Lol
     
  13. Giles B

    Giles B Well-Known Member

    Nice. Big Bang would be an apt title.
     
    Scott Douglas likes this.
  14. Miya Ko

    Miya Ko Literary Polyphonist

    Michael, sorry.  I want that "how" there because mental fucking is a method, and that "it" used to mental-fuck is a tool--like a sex organ.

    Big Bang is a good one.

    Miya
     
    Michael Ashley likes this.
  15. TrishSaunders

    TrishSaunders Member

    I love this poem. I like Maggie's edit, as well.
     
  16. Jon Anderson

    Jon Anderson Well-Known Member

    Good edits Miya. Like this. The mind is the biggest sex organ.
     
  17. tiko lewis

    tiko lewis i'm invisible

    my pleasure to feature this.
     
    Vidya Panicker and silent lotus like this.
  18. Jay Dougherty

    Jay Dougherty Well Worn

    Nice piece.
     
  19. TrishSaunders

    TrishSaunders Member

    I hope this might coax Miya back, she's an interesting & gifted poet.
     
  20. Michael Ashley

    Michael Ashley Fuckwit Extraordinaire

    Lovely poem Miya and great fp presentation! :))
     
  21. Darryl Omari

    Darryl Omari New Member

    I want you, to do what you do.
     
  22. Miya Ko

    Miya Ko Literary Polyphonist

    I'm not trying to bump this.

    This is old... last year... a month after I became a member.

    I didn't know this was front paged.

    Thank you, Tiko and everyone.

    Miya
     
    Cheryl.Leverette likes this.
  23. Miya Ko

    Miya Ko Literary Polyphonist

    Hi, guys.  I revised this to fit to my collection.  Any comment?


    Fyodor and I


    I want you
    to bring me flowers
    like only you who know
    about the sticky leaves of spring.

    I want you
    to tell me stories
    as if you are Dostoyevsky
    in white Calvin Klein underwear.

    I want you
    to dim the light
    as though you are God
    vengeful on the very last day.

    I want you
    to really fuck me
    in the head and hard
    like The Brothers Karamazov.
     
  24. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

    wow. applause.
     
  25. chris.marsden

    chris.marsden Member

    Hi,

    Enjoyed reading your poem. Though the last stanza seems out of place?