“Trump is a scumbag that no one I know would trust to watch the dog,” Thorsten said.

“Tell me about it,” I said.

“Yeah, so when the whole piss thing came out, I said to my mother, ‘the question is not whether he did it; the question is whether anyone would believe that he could do it, and the answer is yes.’”

“Your mother?”

“Yeah, she’s cool.”


“Yeah,” he said.

“You wanna smoke Chem Dawg?” I said.

“You got anything else?” he said. “That Chem wasn’t so strong last time.”

“You’re right. I have to talk to my man.”

“You have anything stronger?”

“Wine. Gewürtztraminer.”

“Okay. And Chem.”

Anyway, we both went home an hour later.

That night I had a horrible dream. It was about some squirrel I kept in a wooden box. I felt so sorry for the squirrel because in the dream, I had been the captor. You can take a lot of shit in life, and you have to put up with a lot of shit, but when you’re a captive squirrel in a wooden box, it’s totally fucked up.


Forum Comments:Fucked up
Image Credit:Kurt Bauschardt
Lance is a certified Bad Influence. He divides his time between Amsterdam and Denver, Colorado, whichever is closest. He lives in Baltimore when he's really fucked up, which is most of the time.

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