Listening to Simon & Garfunkel in the bath when

it suddenly occurs that if weight is dependent on mood (and a wealth of metaphors tell us this is so) then perhaps the same can be said of water, the weight and density determined by the disposition of all bodies contained therein. And what keeps me in this steel tub, a sybarite in the luxury of lavender and scented candles, stops me rising like steam toward a ceramic destiny, or dropping like a golf ball in an ocean, are not laws of buoyancy and physics, not salt or inflated lungs, but an unashamed contentment. And what keeps me in this country, this country, this country, is not a sense of responsibility, mortgage repayments and a good job, but the one who likes to poke toes in this plughole, the one who lit the honey and rose hip candles, the one who right now is lying on her side, breast feeding our baby girl.

i was originally tempted to call this prose.  then i read it again.  and once more.  the poetry of your words is immediately striking.  what took me the extra reads was seeing the poetry of your form.  i realized nothing could be more fitting to the subject matter than its presentation as a meandering thought.

where i might have encouraged structure, i now praise consistancy.

I like this prose poem, Brian, especially for its discreet conexion to daily life while it uses - here and there - abstract elements. Excellent! A pick again.
Vasile

Very good. No critique, just very good.

James

What a nice surprise! thanks for the pick Vasile, and thanks James and Jonnie for kind words.

B.

Brian,  I enjoy the masculine reality, romance  and nostalgia  (á la Garcia Marquez) of this piece.  Speaking*  as one who has lain on her side...  I would be pleased to hear a subtle bit more of the sexy still there, p'raps at the end? As is, I do enjoy it.


"the one who right now is lying on her side, breasts ripe (so right), feeding our baby girl"

Call me weird, but de-coupling "breast"  and "feeding", yet keeping them close together, gives me a sense of both romance and sexy.

Shari




*typing

I am choosing this piece for the front page for its prose poem form, which is not used very often by poets, and for its modern mixture of abstract and real elements, while both the voice and the perspective add a human feeling to the entirety. A good poem, indeed, Brian!
Vasile

Good chioce, Vasile...

It's the sustained restraint of this piece, focussed on the senses including the oft neglected sense of weight, which makes this so satisfying. 

congratulations Brian.

I agree with your very interesting observations, as well, Sue.
Vasile

Good to return to this on the front page - a fine poem, Brian. Did wonder, for a while, whether or no the bracketted 'aside' worked. Then I approved it, as an element of doubt works very well with the final certainty - excellent. Not totally at ease with allusive titles of this nature, unless they are a tribute. A bit 'clubby'? and will all readers be able to attach the music to the names? Could you have dared 'Eureka'? (and got away with it?) Don't mind me - well done.

milner

Well done on the front page award... Speech, speech!

Seriously though, it's well deserved; there is an increasingly lucid voice in your work.

Fantastic, B!  And congrats on Featured Work -- Well deserved!  And ditto that increasing lucidity in your voice.  Mike nailed it perfectly.  Such an enjoyment to see the growth -- Excellent!

lynn

It's excellent to see your work being recognised, Brian. A warming sense of reverie and tenderness to this piece.

Lovely!

Rick

Wow! Thank you all so much and Vasile, again, for the pick. Such an honour.
Sorry to disappoint Mike, but no rousing speech. Instead I'll tell you what my wife had to say:

I can't believe they stuck my boobs on the front page!

Cheers.

B.