They were only mind-fucking

She found that absurd.
In fact, she cherished each word
written in rhyme.
He wore Irish wool, smoked a pipe, sipped vintage wine.
They laughed, planned trips to Paris by phone-
Innuendo, typed whispers, together (yet, always alone).
Deep into night, for hours, they sat
uninhibited in their world of late night chat-

We were only mind-fucking, he replied

She sees the ruse of days gone by.
His taste fills her mouth like cheap chardonnay,
bitter and unmistakably dry.

Fine pacing, like the subtle rhyme at the end (would take out the 'like him' bit, too). That was really the only nit I found-- well done!

Take care,

-O

Agree with the others about 'like him'.
I think its fantastic.
Picked.

I'm humbled.  Thanks so much.  Nit picked.  Hopefully this reads better.

Sherry

Is this one since you've been doing the creative writing classes?  I really, really like it.  Harder look than normal from you, as if you've taken off the gloves, stepped out of the ring, stopped following the rules.  Really good write, sherry.  Excellent pick!

lynn

Actually, the classes start on the 19th and I'm looking forward to them immensely.  Thanks for your more than kind comments, Lynn.  You know how much I value your insight.  I do hope to live outside the ring from here forward.  I'm betting tuition on it.  Thanks again.

Sherry

I'm thinking you'll find a way to dance inside and outside the ring for knock-outs on both sides . . . your expertise in meter and rhyme and rhythm -- don't short change or lose them;  I think they'll serve you well and long, making your voice even more-so your very own. 

Real fine, Sherry, real fine.

milner

Welcome back! I like the dry humor of this poem.

Rick

Thanks Rick and Milner.

You are a darling, darling girl [I know, Woman -- but my little sis and therefore always a GIRL to me].  Thanks for taking the time to look at my blog -- I love your comments there!  Anywhere, really.  Thanks.

A fine poem, Sherry! I am glad for you.
Vasile

I am honored.  Thank you.

Hey, congrats! This is really well done-- and unveils more complexities with each sip.


Take care,

-O

Lovin' those little rhymes Sherry.

Congrats again!

B.

Excellent Sherry, belongs here. Note how the rhymes contribute and are not just window dressing.

larry

it looks to me like you might be the real deal.

Merci !

Congratulations on your "front page". This is clever and a familiar tale for many, I suppose.  Enjoyed!
take care~dale