What a great tool
of commerce and
communication

was the Erie Canal,
and it ran through
Stark

long before locomotives
and telegraph wires
made it just a nuisance.

So they sealed it over,
the Fathers of Stark,
and black it flowedbeneath

the slum, rediscovered
by bootleggers
as a highway

for booze and dump for bodies,
forgotten again till
coke dealers needed

to store product.
There's some kind of
lesson about history here,

thought Dickhardt,
but having been
an English major,

he was damn clueless
as to what.

"Oh the E-ri-e was a-risin'
and the gin was gettin' low
and I scarcely think
I'll get a drink
till I get to buffalo -o-o
til I get to buffalo"
(I put my kids' to sleep with that song)

Another insight into Dickhardt's thoughts. Just what is progress, anyway? You paint Dickhardt's view vividly and just as vividly, his question. Why do things become obsolete?

I think each S. leads logically to the next. What is it that bothers you?

Lavonne,

I'm going to start all my poems in the workshop and then once they've been worked over to my satisfaction, move them to Submissions.  Right now there's a stigma to putting poems in the workshop, and some of our newer members take it wrong when their poems are moved.  I want to remove that stigma.  I just hope that more people start reading workshop stuff, so that the poems get a good going over.

Because no one was reading it or communicating.  And there is one more thing. You as an editor can put it in a workshop.  How can I move mine
to a workshop. I suppose I can say please move this poem to a workshop.   

And stigma, maybe not, not for me but for some and I can understand, Rick,  if you would look at the history of our workshop.


Jesse

Super Idea Rick.

Jesse,
You can post it directly to the workshop, or you can remove a poem from the submit board and then repost it in the workshop. Or you can ask an editor to move it.

If you feel it should be on the submit board and an editor won't move it back there then you can repost it on the submit board. 

Thanks Lavonne, I take off my sunglasses. Now I can see. Yup, there it is, post a new topic.

i think only the poems chosen by the editors to be placed here, should be here. we must respect their judgement!

others should not jump on the bandwagon -

now that we're having so much fun while learning!


 
 
 

Bear in mind, Jesse, that poems in Workshop are only visible to Members, not to Visitors. Whether or no a considerable reduction in audience matters, is for you to decide, but thought I might draw it to your attention in case it does.

milner

rashmi, the workshop is not Time Out. If only the editors moved poems here it would be seen as such.

I think this is ready to move to Submit.  This would be the second poem I started in Workshop and moved up there.  The response here to the first poem got me to realize that the earlier version of the poem was really better (though I hadn't thought so for about 20 years) . . . at least what it did was more interesting to me.  Thanks, y'all!  It will be interesting to see what happens when Erie Street breaks the light in Submit.  I thought I was done with Stark poems, but apparently not.

Rick

just my quick two cents of thought Bear, before taking my kiddos to school this fine morning (the weather has taken a turn for sunny and warm here in CA)  --

Erie Street

What a great tool
of commerce and
communication

was the Erie Canal,

the was doesn't work for me for some reason....here's what I was thinking

Erie Street    (use the title as a lead in and reline the three lines for stanza all the way down)

was a great tool
of commerce and
communication

and it ran through
Stark's downtown
long before locomotives

and telegraph wires
made it just a nuisance.
So they sealed it over,

the Fathers of Stark,
and black it flowed
beneath the town's

tough sections,   (not sure about this - don't like the "sound" of sections - I was almost leaning to "hard places")
rediscovered by
bootleggers as

a highway for booze
and dump for bodies,
forgotten again

till coke dealers
needed to store product.
There's some kind of

lesson about history
and human nature here,
thought Dickhardt,

but having been
an English major,
he was damn clueless

as to what.     (wanted this to read -  "as to what it was."  ??)


??? whatcha think?  take or leave.....nice to see Stark cruisin' round....xo Cronk

Yes, nice to find Dickhardt still dinkin about.  Enjoyed the read.

Love the scope of this, Rick, from that start to that end.

Cheers

milner

Michelle, I took your advice and changed "tough sections."  Not sure what to do about the "was."  Thanks, Milner and Lynne, for your appreciation.

Rick

I like the changes...  alot......I can live with the "was" - **grin** - when will we be seeing Stark in book form?

xo Cronk