When I met you
in the woods today
you stared

through your gigantic eye
And once again
I heard your Thunder

Your head swayed
from side to side And then
you pointed

three horns at me
We first met when I was ten
And I remember

when TRex Gored you
and how you Tumbled
down that hill and died

And I cried
You were my Favorite dinosaur
Later

when you entered my dreams
we became Close friends
You helped me cope

with father's wrath and Saved me
from those Old crones
who tried to turn me into stone

at the Catholic boarding school
You gave me Strength
and Courage too

And to think
we may have Never met
were it not for an old movie

on a television set
For Years weve gone
our separate ways

But Today
I heard your Thunder once again
Watched you turn your massive head

point your horns at me
And for the Longest time
we Stared into each others eyes...

Thanks to all who replied to my first Triceratops poem. Your kind words, encouragement and advice were Very much appreciated. Unfortunately I accidentally deleted the original poem and received responses.

The original poem, and the pic that Eric referred to in a previous post can be found at the following site. http://flickr.com/photos/egolabolas/1641158292/

Cheers, Doug

Hi Doug

you know I love this poem
but I still do have a few suggestions how it could be tightened up.
However in the end its your subjective opinion that counts.


I would start the poem with-

I met you again in the woods today.

I would cut "you stared with your gigantic eye"

Likewise, I would cut "when you entered my dreams"

I would revise the last line

perhaps -

And for the longest time
we stared back into the past.  ?

One more thing, I find your eccentric use of capital letters to be
bumps in the road for me. They jar.  Words if chosen well
should not need emphasis.

Once again I will offer my praise for this work of yours Doug
for despite the niggles I have with it
it is a very fine poem.


Best

eric

You can look on the board labeled recycle bin to find your original!