after all, we are just minerals and fossils,
laying one on top of the other in silent mourning,

it's always been death that I come back to
and it's death that I will always be;

born in the black bath wine of Pluto’s tides
flung ashore in a shiver of temper from
the laminated jade sea that snaps back
because it doesn’t know limitations,
whether caught inside a hummingbird's memoir flicker
or reaching toward the sky, lead arms baring down on white wailing waves,
I am coming for you,
o yes, I assure you,
I am already there

I really like this. the images are clear as a freshly-cleaned window. It makes me feel sad, but in a good way.

:(/ :)

james

Excellent, EB. Did wonder if a line space wouldn't help between the line ending 'always be' and that beginning 'born' (Ls 4 & 5). I found that I tended to read on through and then the grammar didn't work. No big deal.

milner

Yes, this works for me.
It reaches ecstatic crests in some places
and I was moved by its free flow.

e

I changed the spacing, but where I am really wandering about is the last line, should it be 'there' or 'here'?

I like the 'there'.

milner

It's not easy to write about this topic, but you did succeed.
Vasile

Gorgeous and nihilistic.  I wrote a piece once called "The March of Death" and this reminded me of it.  Great job. - Moskowitz

what I feel in this is the inexorable and inevitable power of change, death being one----you have well and strongly personified death, until it can be felt, and known, and remembered----well done...

michael

ps----ashore?

Hi EB:

Delightful read with some great imagery. Thank for sharing. Death and Love make the world go round and under.

Best Always,
John

 

I vote for here.  More immediate.  Love the images of the wine and the sea. 

Yea I know, but I have now reached the point in my head where I have rationalized it all too many times and now I'm not sure, what if I did this: there(here)  ? too eh?

Thanks mich

hummingbird's memoir flicker
 
I can't really say this unless I use a French accent.  Other than that, lovely read.  Loved the Pluto bit.

Thank you.

D

First read for me and the only thing I found odd was that it hadn't been booted up as a pick.  Thanks, nora, for bringing this one back to the front.  Would've been my loss to have missed it.

lynn

There.  Definitely 'there'.  A poor anaology, but with "there" as the final word it seems as though the poem is spoken to doomed king in chess, three or so moves before checkmate. Destiny waits down the alley you take thinking you're avoiding fate.

lol, nice backhanded compliment sweeper ;)

and thanks lynn for the lift

I meant my analogy to be the poor one.
(I'm not a sweeper any more.  Yay!)

Woohoo! ;D So happy for you!