after all, we are just minerals and fossils,
laying one on top of the other in silent mourning,

it's always been death that I come back to
and it's death that I will always be;

born in the black bath wine of Pluto’s tides
flung ashore in a shiver of temper from
the laminated jade sea that snaps back
because it doesn’t know limitations,
whether caught inside a hummingbird's memoir flicker
or reaching toward the sky, lead arms baring down on white wailing waves,
I am coming for you,
o yes, I assure you,
I am already there

I really like this. the images are clear as a freshly-cleaned window. It makes me feel sad, but in a good way.

:(/ :)

james

Excellent, EB. Did wonder if a line space wouldn't help between the line ending 'always be' and that beginning 'born' (Ls 4 & 5). I found that I tended to read on through and then the grammar didn't work. No big deal.

milner

Yes, this works for me.
It reaches ecstatic crests in some places
and I was moved by its free flow.

e

I changed the spacing, but where I am really wandering about is the last line, should it be 'there' or 'here'?

I like the 'there'.

milner

It's not easy to write about this topic, but you did succeed.
Vasile

Gorgeous and nihilistic.  I wrote a piece once called "The March of Death" and this reminded me of it.  Great job. - Moskowitz

what I feel in this is the inexorable and inevitable power of change, death being one----you have well and strongly personified death, until it can be felt, and known, and remembered----well done...

michael

ps----ashore?

Hi EB:

Delightful read with some great imagery. Thank for sharing. Death and Love make the world go round and under.

Best Always,
John

 

I vote for here.  More immediate.  Love the images of the wine and the sea. 

Yea I know, but I have now reached the point in my head where I have rationalized it all too many times and now I'm not sure, what if I did this: there(here)  ? too eh?

Thanks mich

hummingbird's memoir flicker
 
I can't really say this unless I use a French accent.  Other than that, lovely read.  Loved the Pluto bit.

Thank you.

D

First read for me and the only thing I found odd was that it hadn't been booted up as a pick.  Thanks, nora, for bringing this one back to the front.  Would've been my loss to have missed it.

lynn