All seems to have come right in the end! Good 'un.

milner

The revision is extraordinary. A pick.

larry

Thank you Larry. And thanks to everyone. It was an experiment on my part to post the first version which was really my notes that I jotted down after coming home from an extraordinary evening. You all wrote the poem through me.

Didn't you have john and hane along with jack?  I liked that.

Rick

you make me giggle.
I did have her looking for johns and jills and jack
but I decided jack was what she really wanted all along!

Title.  Seems like you could put a period between jack and shit and get even more mileage out of that line.
Thanks for the read.

D

Good job, SL.  I'm glad to see this one again.

Rick

Wow! Surprised me this morning you two!

Thanks!

lol @ "would you really say 'what the shit' ?"  if she only knew, eh, Lavonne?

great poem, L.

enjoyed much,
cheryl

Damn straight Cher.:)