I think the mood is pretty damn good in this poem. I love the title as well. A couple of suggestions:

Perhaps it was berry wine that you drank but it seems a bit juvenile...even for a starving artist...I think a cheap bordeaux would fit the tone better...also alarizarin is a good word but will slow the poem for moist readers...no need for that...and finally...a warm recollection...is a bit abstract and unnecessary...reads fine without that line and IMO more powerfully. Thanks for the read.


she modeled
for the only nude
I ever painted
amid lamplight flickers
in a humid garden
we drained
glass after glass
of berry wine
liquid alizarin
sparkles in my memory
what's left is
a warm recollection
voices and tinkling glassware
damp skin and canvas

this one is soooo alive, then and now----it fairly bursts with the essence of woman----what a treat, Lavonne!

favorite line, "damp skin and canvass"-----yesssss....

Michael

Been lounging in Alabama for four days and I have come home to such a nice surprise!  Thanks everyone!

Beautiful language and form, Lavonne.

I've loved this one from the first time I read it.  I'm not one to purchase poetry books, but I copy and paste here and there, and then create my own scrapbooks to read at leisure, and this, was one I saved.

Sensual and sinuous.  The words evoke line and form beautifully and the space around the painting is filled with texture and color. Thanks for taking us there.

A very good poem, Lavonne!
Vasile

Thanks Vasile!

Exquisite. No criticism, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

mmm, such warmth and comfort despite the nakedness.  i would take out the 'for' on the second line

I am sorry, you are amazing. I understand this poem so well, I am an artist as well, and have just recently took up the study of the human form and had my very first sitting in my studio yesterday (funded by scared-shitly, but very faithful parents of course). You captured what it meant to be just for the moment, beyond all religion and all philosophy and just be a being that loves, and looks at another human being and sees the immortal and most mortal thing that contains and sets free in the silentest stream of their most perfect artist. I am honored.

Congratulations on finding a publisher for this. A truly fine piece and well worth bringing up for others to enjoy.

B.

El Vee,

I am such a fan of this.   Alizarin is an interesting word choice (had to look it up). 

This feels like something that could just fall out of ones memory and into the present so quickly
and sweetly, and the smells and lighting would be so real, then you would have to remember to
step on the gas because you forgot you were driving.

Love this!!!

Tiko

Lavonne
your images linger, your poems
find a permenant niche in my mind.

i think " tinkling glassware" is
the cherry on top of the sunday
in this poem.

Tiko and Scott,
Thank you so much for the lovely compliments.