"There's nothing left but the autopsy."
                 - Eric Frank Russell, Sinister Barrier

At last, the corporal and mental foreplay done,
now to surrender fully to another's searching hands,
be sawn and scalpeled, opened, fondled, questioned,
contemplated, weighed, and known,
toe-tagged, typed up, okayed to move along.

She's here—scrubs, pulls on talcum'ed gloves,
hair gathered in a knot and plastic-capped,
gray eyes inside plexiglass goggles, lab coat starched.
Yet despite the prophylactics,
there's a tremor to her touch. Dig in. Let's get it on.

First strophe is tight, well writ.  Second just as good, but for some reason the ending
just sort of creeps me out.  Maybe others will understand it better or differently than
I do.  Perhaps the reference is supposed to give it a context I am missing....or does
she just want to have sex with a corpse? 

D

Thank you, Desiree.
I only imagined this as from the point of view of the corpse, so you've given me something to think about.
Sex? Again, I imagined the corpse describing another kind of intimacy, for which sex and other relationships between 2 living people seemed the foreplay. Let's get it on to that thang that comes next, after death!
Goofy, corpses. Tom

Thanks for explaining.  I understood the first part as being from the corpse's point of view.
At the point where she "feels stirrings in her loins" I thought the point of view shifted.

Again.  I am easily confused.

D

D., I'm going to try to shift that last S to 2nd person...

I really like the premise of this poem (and the execution of the first stanza), but had the seem instant reaction as Desiree did. First stanza felt intimate then the next not really a furthering of that intimacy.

Grant, thank you too. Am posting the revision I'm working on. Tom

I don't think you need "Let's get it on". I feel that you've established an intense relationship here, that doesn't justify the sporting-like, wrestling phrase "Let's get it on"... but that's just my wish for the theme rather than what is best for the poem or what sticks best to your wish for it.

I think what I want to hear is a line that invites this final intimacy between two humans that rises above the clinical objectivity that this woman's training usually brings, but I want it treated like intimacy and not sport. Once again... all my own thoughts.

Interesting point, Grant, which I appreciate. I hoped "Let's get it on" would lighten things, be humorous. I'm not sure if I can carry it through without a wink. But if the wink ain't winkin', that is a problem. Tom

I agree with grant but see that your intention was to leave the reader smiling.
will check back later to see what you've decided
"wonder if I'm her first" popped into my sick mind

Stella

thanks, Stella! Tom

Tom,

I think the new ending really works well, and for me gives just the right amount of piquancy to really light up this great poem.

Roger

Thanks, Roger. We'll see how it flies with other readers too. Hard to get complicated tone just right sometimes. Tom

Looks real good to me, Tom.

milner

Cheers, Milner.
Funny how you think something's there, someone says "It's not", you add something & realize "Now I see it" - the blind drawing for the sighted.
-Tom

sounds like a man
over 50.  made it to
that colon test again
this year, ey? 

a fun write, Tom.


tiko

LOL!
Definitely over 50. But treaty with hemorrhoids prohibits colonoscopies, sadly.