a milling
of the sand
by sea

a gull's beak
                         points
to the setting sun

wind’s breath
on a stand
of reeds

the dying
of a rambler’s fire

these
are the steady
wings
of time

Beautifullly modulated, Milner - the rising and falling of the commonness/uncommonness of the wording/images, etc., the invisibility of intricate rhymes - gives the poem so much life and movement. Tom

Truly lovely milner, truely lovely.

Regards

Roger

Thank you both, Tom n Roger.

Got a visitor, hope to be back later with thoughts on others' poems.

There's a very nice rhythm to this piece Milner.
Mike

Purest Milner

Agree with all of the above.  Love the ebb and flow of the piece.

Dear Milner, well done. It has a great power. Best wishes, David

You really have a way of justifying the sentimental. This is great example of that.

A bow to Michael, Mark, Lavonne, Richard, Grant. I plead guilty to 'sentimental', but maybe the balance is OK. I often muse on the 'knife edge' risks in poetry, and if you lose your footing the fall can be fatal.

Cheers

milner

beautiful, true, and lovely in its simplicity

Milner, I wonder if the last S likening S2's flying gull to "wings" does justice to the other images. Tom

I'm a bit too tired today, Tom, to really ponder this with any real rationality.

Would 'all these' help?

Cheers

milner

Sorry, what I mean is that in comparing "a gull flies" to "the steady wings of time", you're sort of saying wings are like wings.

Ah, that's why i was uneasy with S2!!!
Changed that S. Thanks, Tom

milner

to picks.

tiko

Bless you, Tiko, for the pick. I feel happy with it now, thanks to Tom's query that got me to re-work it.

milner

A belated thanks, SL. Loitering is a real and underrated virtue.

milner