PoetryCircle
ContemporaryPoetryForum
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
« PoetryCircle • The Writing • Editors' picks • Topic: boredom »
ThreadTools
Print
 (Read 1183 times) [1] 2  All
  boredom
« on: January 02, 2012, 10:48:50 PM » by grant
I’ve let them grow like potatoes
under my ribs. You snarled
grabbed my chest hair, pulled
and asked why I love you.

My eyes rolled back
and I saw them growing there
heart sized lumps
that we boil and soften.

When you frown at me
they ache, when I get blind drunk
they don’t, but I grind my teeth
and look for a fight
or a fuck.

There are two pressing against my lungs
and when I’m still I can hear them
one is my mother’s
the other hates my father
and both leak.
Logged

To succeed or not is irrelevant. There is no such thing. Making your unknown known is what is important.
  Re: boredom
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2012, 04:12:10 AM » by Pam Scobie
Wow. This is agonizing stuff. I like it a lot. Pam
Logged
  ...
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2012, 06:05:05 AM » by grant
Thanks Pam! It was kinda rough to write as well.
Logged

To succeed or not is irrelevant. There is no such thing. Making your unknown known is what is important.
  Re: boredom
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2012, 08:04:36 AM » by Tom Riordan
I agree with Pam. Right to the viscera - and expands the definition of boredom to where it belongs. Tom
Quote from: grant on January 02, 2012, 10:48:50 PM
I’ve let them grow like potatoes
under my ribs. You snarled
grabbed my chest hair, pulled
and asked why I love you.

My eyes rolled back
and I saw them growing there
heart sized lumps
that we boil and soften.

When you frown at me
they ache, when I get blind drunk
they don’t, but I grind my teeth
and look for a fight
or a fuck.

There are two pressing against my lungs
and when I’m still I can hear them
one is my mother’s,
the other hates my father
and both leak.
Logged
  Re: boredom
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2012, 08:16:44 AM » by silent lotus
dear Grant

for my ear
this is a very finely penned expression of opening

and truthfully scrawled across the page of authenticity

an exceptional poem


a warm smile
silent lotus
Logged
  ...
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2012, 03:56:34 PM » by grant
Thank you Tom and Silent. I'm glad it sounds authentic, it's hard to get there without over shooting. I didn't notice the Freudian over tone until now, it wasn't intentional, but I guess that's how it works huh.
Logged

To succeed or not is irrelevant. There is no such thing. Making your unknown known is what is important.
  Re: boredom
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2012, 04:07:33 PM » by Tom Riordan
People have hated their fathers - and pretty much whatever Freud talked about - since long before his day, and don't need his theories to do it today! The miserable bastard. Tom
Logged
  Re: boredom
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2012, 04:15:07 PM » by Tiko Lewis
well done, Grant.
last stanza my favorite.

tiko
Logged

...i don't eat jelly beans afterward.
  ...
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2012, 04:44:31 PM » by grant
Thanks Tiko! Much appreciated.

Tom, you're right. He was a misery. Fortunately though, I'm not the one that hates my father... the poison of it has gotten into me through other means.
Logged

To succeed or not is irrelevant. There is no such thing. Making your unknown known is what is important.
  Re: boredom
« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2012, 11:29:23 AM » by milner place
Strong and bitter fruit, Grant. Well done.

milner
Logged

'Caminante, no hay camino,
se hace camino al andar'
- Antonio Machado

Latest book 'naked invitation' $15 or £10, p&p inc milnerplace@msn.com
  Re: boredom
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2012, 12:02:12 PM » by Roger Fizzerton
Grant,

A very powerfull cultivation this!

Roger
Logged

Patience is a virtue, they say - but then I never claimed to be virtuous!
  Re: boredom
« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2012, 12:06:45 PM » by Tom Riordan
Grant, why a comma at end of L16 but not at L2? Tom
Logged
  ...
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2012, 03:45:21 PM » by grant
Roger and Milner, thank you very much. This has gone a long way toward catharsis.

Tom! Less commas are better than more. Consider them "taken care of".
Logged

To succeed or not is irrelevant. There is no such thing. Making your unknown known is what is important.
  Re: boredom
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2012, 10:22:31 PM » by Tom Riordan
moving to Picks. Tom
Logged
  Re: boredom
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2012, 10:08:26 PM » by grant
Hooray! I didn't realise this got the official boost! Thanks a bunch Tom!
Logged

To succeed or not is irrelevant. There is no such thing. Making your unknown known is what is important.
 (Read 1183 times) [1] 2  All
Jump to:  
MemberTools
Home
Help
Calendar
Members List
Statistics
Login
Register



LatestNews
Follow PoetryCircle on Twitter.

SiteStats
191339 Posts
18135 Topics
1518 Members
Latest Member: William F Dougherty

Support PoetryCircle







PoetryCircle | Powered by SMF 1.1.15.
© 2005, Simple Machines. All Rights Reserved.
Simplicity design by BlocWeb