An American Sentence

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An American Sentence
« on: December 07, 2011, 08:09:28 PM » by Lavonne Westbrooks

Feed the grand dam an apple; she'll toss her head, blow sweet breath your way.

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Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2011, 08:10:30 PM » by Tiko Lewis

lovely!

tiko

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...i don't eat jelly beans afterward.

Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2011, 01:56:53 AM » by Stewart Grant

Lavonne--I have no idea what this is about but it has pulled me back for several reads tonight so I just wanted to say well done!

I'll keep reading and hope to have something more constructive to say soon!

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i have all the right scars, but i'll never learn from them

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Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2011, 07:16:06 AM » by Lavonne Westbrooks

Thanks so much Tiko!

I love your reaction Stewart! After a few more comments, I'll post my inspiration for the poem :)

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Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2011, 07:48:27 AM » by Tom Riordan

Quote from: Lavonne Westbrooks on December 07, 2011, 08:09:28 PM

Feed the grand dam an apple; she'll toss her head, blow sweet breath your way.

Nice, Lavonne. You evoke the old mare so vividly, simply but quirky too. I want to know more.
I see 16 syllables, and hear the missing "and" before "blow."
The internal rhymes etc. create, for me, an earical illusion that "way" falls as a rhyme!
Tom

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Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2011, 08:11:41 AM » by Stewart Grant

Oh now I get it! Very interesting title, I look forward to finding out your inspiration.

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i have all the right scars, but i'll never learn from them

mediavirusmagazine.wordpress.com

Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2011, 12:32:42 PM » by Lavonne Westbrooks

Hi Stewart - Not sure if you know what an American Sentence poem is - Originated by Ginsburg as America's answer to Haiku. It is a one sentence poem consisting of 17 syllables. There is a challenge thread with lots of examples.

A friend posted on Facebook that she loved the smell of her horse's breath after feeding it an apple so I composed the poem with that image in mind but I'm really referring to myself. Just treat me nice and see what you get! A Grand Dam is a horsey grandmother!

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Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2011, 05:41:17 PM » by cherylleverette

love apple and sweet in the same line, lavonne. very fresh and appealing.

cheryl

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A poet dares be just so clear and no clearer.... He unzips the veil from beauty, but does not remove it. A poet utterly clear is a trifle glaring. ~E.B. White

Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2011, 09:52:53 AM » by Tom Riordan

Rereading again this morning, Lavonne, and thinking of some of the grand dams in my life. Great=Aunt Beatrice, Great-Aunt Florence. Reading the apple as a compliment that brings them back to their glory days, or hints at the glory they still feel in themselves...Tom

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Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2011, 10:26:01 AM » by Lavonne Westbrooks

Re: No. of syllables. I toyed with adding 'and' or 'she will' instead of 'she'll'. In the end I opted for the final version.

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Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2011, 10:45:53 AM » by Tom Riordan

You've always lived dangerously, Lavonne! And "American sentence" only has 16 letters itself. If that stickler Ginsberg gives you any guff, I'm solidly in your corner on this one. Tom

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Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2011, 06:09:54 PM » by Sue Lozynskyj

Me too. I love it.

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Chance favours the prepared mind: Louis Pasteur

Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2011, 12:14:07 PM » by StellaR

sweet sentencing, Lavonne
I should try this!

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“Logical argument is what destroys poetry because poetry is beyond logic.” Robert Graves

Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2011, 01:52:35 PM » by Rick Stansberger

lovely how the poem reads horse!

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Rick's fifth book is out: Gizmo--love, loss and the passion to know--in the first part of the last century.

Re: An American Sentence
« Reply #14 on: December 20, 2011, 08:41:51 PM » by Lavonne Westbrooks

I just noticed that this was a pick! What an ingrate I was for not saying thank you!

Thank you!

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