I spell


words
for the journal
helping her record
the trivia of
days, meals,
rare phone calls,
visits from care workers

b's might become c's
or drift down
                 lines
once in a while, a word is
printed in BLOCK LETTERS

at times,
the brain burns its bridges
rerouting through
the experiences of others ~
brother becomes son
daughters never seem to come

but we confirm a good day,
every day,
her shrinking feet still
touch the floor




Stella Read
November 24, 2010

This is mutedly pained Stella. One feels more for the writer than the subject of the journal. Will return for a closer look. Rob

After reading, what works through my brain like big block letters are thoughts of the N, her observations -- especially her shrinking feet still touch the floor -- and how that detail moves so very far beyond floor or feet.  Very strong write, Stella.

lynn

Two suggestions, just to the flow as I read:

words
for the journal
helping her record
the trivia of
days, meals,
rare phone calls, [the rare phone call,]
visits from care workers

but we confirm a good day,
every day, [remove comma]
her shrinking feet still
touch the floor

will have a look at your suggestions tomorrow, Rob. appreciate your words

so kind of you, Lynn, thank you.


Stella

Enjoy this, Stella. You bring me there. Tom

merci, silent

thank you for supportive words, Tom


Stella

stella that trivia of in the beginning really grabs my attention, just the scene of quizzing the elderly to reward recollection is strong and effective.  enjoyed everything after that too.  lawrence

well enjoyed stella

cheers

james

what about a "but" before "b's might become c's", Stella?

It feels hard and jejune but the space works as a sense of emptiness in the beginning and 'daughters never seem to come.' quite some chasm

Can't say anything else but thinking about you

Mel

Fabulous! Just fabulous! You get a "Bien Cuit" for this one for sure.  ;D

The last two lines are such a perfect ending to this.  Spells out the N's gratefulness that the Elder is still alive, still fairly cognizant, and expressing the idea that N still feels successful at coping with the situation.  So much in a few words.

Also like these lines:

the brain burns its bridges
rerouting through

Bringing the scientific reality into the picture.

Stella, strong and searching.

Not sure how rare phone calls chime with trivia, though hesitate to say...

Also like the brain science... deepens already deep waters

k