lay with me in the grass
and feel dew behind your ears

touch roots of old trees
watch the snails dance

paint the sky with fallen feathers
let butterflies powder your toes

hear the call to breakfast
in the excitement of the crows

sing old songs of sharecroppers and crickets
kiss me

kiss me again

dear Tiko

your call of fallen feathers
paints a saturation of tonal satisfaction for my ear
that has a poignancy which reaches forward and backward
throughout the poem and knits the title well in to the morning.

very nice poeming !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

also i look forward to seeing if you ever use the first stanza again
in an other poem as if you were talking to your Titleist


smiles
silent lotus

Tiko at first I was a little unsure but by the end, the simple sincerity saved it for me. Very well done. Walks a razor edge between sentiment and emotion - in a rewarding way.

The title drew me in..had to read it. I think it needs a little finessing though. But that is just me and my favorite lines are those in the third strophe.   ;D

Silent Lotus,

a wonderful report of your experience.


Rob,
i actually felt the same way and thought to
put this in journalese, but 'gardened up the
courage' and placed it in submit.  i'm glad
it works.


Jose,
i have made some changes based on your
recommendations. please let me know if
it works now.

thanks all,

tiko

Goes with a real lilt, Tiko. A1.

milner

Tiko, I love the way you end it!
Maybe add an "in" to start of L8? I think both metrically and meaningwise it cuts the slight gratuitiousness of that rhyme, but it's all such a subtle consideration, I'm not sure.
Tom

thanks, Milner.

Tom, 
thanks and the change has been
made.

tiko

Appreciating today how the sharecroppers' songs enrich, are part of, this idyll. To picks. So lovely.

a wonderful gift on a wonderful
day.

thanks,

tiko

sweetness here, tiko... all dewy
congratulations on the pick!

Stella

thanks, Stella.

tiko

It is wonderful.
Just for fun I translated it into Quentin, not an improvement, just another language.

Country Morning

Lie with me in grass.
Feel dew behind your ears.

Watch snails move.
Paint skies with fallen feathers
Let butterflies powder toes

Hear a call to breakfast
in excitement of crows.
Sing old songs,
songs of sharecroppers, crickets.
Kiss me

Kiss me again

congrats, Tiko! Tom

Good show Tiko!

A great pick for the Front Page.

milner

so very surprised to see this on
the front page. 

Sue, thanks for the pick.

Milner, Tom, and Rob.  thanks!
also, I enjoyed reading it in a
different language, Quentin. 
thanks for the translation.
 
tiko

Applause!  And applause again! 

ld

Silent Lotus,

glad a bit of Tx. weather
could reach you.


Lynn,

thanks!

tiko

i keep feel like avoiding the 'in' and just reading 'the excitement of the crows' 
'dew behind ears' is wonder ful

 

how great to see this on Front Page

many congratulations, Tiko!!


Stella

i love this. thanks.

thanks Camel, Stella, and Joe.

tiko