rebecca
turns
to me
with
pipe
in hand
& exhales
   it’s beat

clacking
at the
typewriter
i inform
her
   birdie,
   it’s been
   beat
   since
   the
   nineteen
   fifties.

Wow

Thank you, O




Dax






.

Like this too, Lawrence! Tom

Oh yeah.  Good stuff.  I had a fun answer to this, if I may (only works beside the fantastic original):

rebecca
tur s
to me
with
pipe
in ha d
& exhales
  it’s broke

clacki g
at the
typewriter
i i form
her
   birdie,
   it’s bee
   broke
   si ce
   the
    i etee  
   fifties.

Love it Lawrence - M

Vivid, Lawrence!!  Mag

Lawrence,

really enjoyed this one.

tiko

Love this Lawrence. The second stanza really brings this home.

I especially enjoy the double meaning I got from the end of S1. My first read was
"and exhales it’s beat", as if she's exhaling rhythm (not sure if this was intended).

Great work bud

-Stirling

Lawrence, enjoyed this one! Very good !

wow guys thanks so much for taking to this piece!  really appreciate the comments and thoughts here on the playful language, radical!  lawrence

i dig it.

thanks.

ld

ditto above


Stella

Lawrence -

This poem makes me happy.  And my stress level at the moment requires a quick dose of happy very often. 

(seriously though, it's a great little snapshot that works very well - deserves some front page time)

xo  Michelle

Congrats, Lawrence! Tom