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  sub audition
« on: September 19, 2010, 12:25:23 AM » by Tom Riordan
cold-cut animists
aware of the souls
in slices of unheated salami,
bologna, ham, liverwurst,
turkey, roast beef,
other meats and
sometimes cheeses
scarcely need to be told
that when the hot co-ed
at the sandwich station
of Buzzy's Lunch Stop
slaps this or that
concoction together,
each has a personality
and its life an arc
entirely its own.

once she's picked
the type of bread or roll,
combined and stratified
the meats and cheese,
weighed out each sub's
portion of salt, pepper,
mustard, mayo, vinegar,
lettuce, tomato, onion, peppers
and what-have-you,
and rolls it up
in clean white paper
sealed with tape,
its consciousness springs to.
it revels in itself.
it then tunes in
to what is happening.

all those voluminous ears
come alive, each to its
frequencies, to note
the clink of soda bottles,
rustling brown bags,
rattling keys,
voices leaking hunger,
car ignitions, music, traffic.
what does it mean?
how does this constitute a life?
what is the sub's reaction
to those alterations
in the scheme of sound
that signal the Unwrapping?
at last, the faint smack
of lips unlocking?
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  Re: sub audition
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2010, 06:06:21 AM » by milner place
A delight this, Tom. Did wonder if it might have a more lip-smacking title.

Cheers

milner
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se hace camino al andar'
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Latest book 'naked invitation' $15 or £10, p&p inc milnerplace@msn.com

  Re: sub audition
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2010, 10:20:46 AM » by Tom Riordan
Thanks, Milner. As to title, yes, you're probably right. This sprang out of Word of Day "subaudition" but the fun of that doesn't carry forward. Will think up some alternatives. Tom
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  Re: sub audition
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2010, 11:00:54 PM » by Lynn Doiron
I'd like a hyphen slapped twixt col and cut in L1, please.  Hold the mayo. 
Tasty read, but I bit into something not quite identifiable at "each has a personality / and its life an arc / entirely its own."  After I examined a minute on the tip of my finger, I decided the bit wasn't part of the hot coed but one or many of what the hot coed slams together.  Still, have to admit, highly satisfying.

cold cut animists
aware of the souls
in slices of unheated salami,
bologna, ham, liverwurst,
turkey, roast beef,
other meats and
sometimes cheeses
scarcely need to be told
that when the hot co-ed
at the sandwich station
of  Buzzy's Lunch Stop
slaps this or that
concoction together,
each has a personality
and its life an arc
entirely its own.

once she's picked
the type of bread or roll,
combined and stratified
the meats and cheese,
weighed out each sub's
portion of salt, pepper,
mustard, mayo, vinegar,
lettuce, tomato, onion, peppers
and what-have-you,
and rolls it up
in clean white paper
sealed with tape,
its consciousness springs to.
it revels in itself.
it then tunes in
to what is happening.

all those voluminous ears
come alive, each to its
frequencies, to note
the clink of soda bottles,
rustling brown bags,
rattling keys,
voices leaking hunger,
car ignitions, music, traffic.
what does it mean?
how does this constitute a life?
what is the sub's reaction
to those alterations
in the scheme of sound
that signal the Unwrapping?
at last, the faint smack
of lips unlocking?
Logged

My blogs:
http://lwww.lynndoiron.wordpress.com for memoir/journal/poetry

  Re: sub audition
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2010, 11:03:52 PM » by StellaR



I absolutely love your opening lines, Tom


Stella
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“Logical argument is what destroys poetry because poetry is beyond logic.” Robert Graves

  Re: sub audition
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2010, 11:31:55 PM » by Tom Riordan
Lynn, as my first food-service boss loved to holler up, "We are here to serve!" So you have you hyphen, and thank you for asking. I hadn't appreciated how much that line might be misread without it.
Stella...."We are here to serve!" Thank you. Tom
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  Re: sub audition
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2010, 11:24:33 AM » by Tom Riordan
Deli-
ghtful!
Lynn,
thank you
for the Pick!
Tom
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  Re: sub audition
« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2010, 11:29:09 PM » by Tiko Lewis
congrats, Tom.

tiko
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...i don't eat jelly beans afterward.

  Re: sub audition
« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2010, 11:38:53 PM » by Tom Riordan
What a surprise, thank you. I accept the honor on behalf of all the deli meat between my ears! Tom
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  Re: sub audition
« Reply #9 on: October 22, 2010, 11:45:57 PM » by Lynn Doiron
I knew this one needed more reads!  Very cool to find this here!

ld
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My blogs:
http://lwww.lynndoiron.wordpress.com for memoir/journal/poetry

  Re: sub audition
« Reply #10 on: October 23, 2010, 12:03:36 AM » by Tom Riordan
And very cool that you think so, thanks, Lynn. Tom
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  Re: sub audition
« Reply #11 on: October 23, 2010, 08:14:59 AM » by silent lotus
dear Tom

lovely to see an audition that makes it to the picks of life.

the praise for this is more than a foot-long !

smiles
silent lotus
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  Re: sub audition
« Reply #12 on: October 23, 2010, 08:36:32 AM » by Tom Riordan
heroic of you to say so, silent. tom
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  Re: sub audition
« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2010, 01:07:45 PM » by StellaR



a treat to read this again on the Front Page

congratulations, Tom!



Stella
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“Logical argument is what destroys poetry because poetry is beyond logic.” Robert Graves

  Re: sub audition
« Reply #14 on: October 23, 2010, 04:29:23 PM » by Tom Riordan
thanks, Stella. a treat to be reread. Tom
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