Hi Stella,

I love the image of "above the rush/below the radar"
Surreal, but frightening - I felt like I was in one of those Indiana Jones scenes where the water is rising and the
ceiling is looming, on the one hand, and in "1984" on the other! 

"Floating", as has been said, offers a sinister possibility, but IMHO it is too slow when compared to "rush"  - I hope
that makes sense  :)

Geoff

Without going into the definitions of the words hooked and pitched,
the images of each word alone taken in context with the poem should,
I think, Stella, convince you pitched is the word to go with.  Maggie

hi there, Geoff and Maggie. I wrestled with this one a little more but decided a day might make things clearer. will return to it later. thank you both for careful reading and suggestions.

There's tension between "float" and "struggle", increasing curiosity about the force propelling N upstream.

that is my dilemma
going to try to solve it now, Tom

Stella, thought I'd add to the gallery of cacophonous voices. The poem works for this reader as is. The differences about water images, radar etc. are simply the images you came up with and they do exactly what the poem is asking them to do. However, (don't you just love that) 'pitched' is perfect for what the poem concludes, but I wonder if omitting 'in' is keeping the poem in the road. By itself, the implications are that the subject is pitching about in the current, an image that seems unnecessary to state since we are floating upstream and in my mind that would be anything but calm. With 'in' the inference is less ambiguous and we see/feel the subject as not being in control, pitched in by an external force. Okay, now that's  whole lot more than you cared about for this poem, but I submit that the number of voices whose interest has been piqued by this wonderful little write indicate its value.

larry

always like to hear from you, Larry. I worked at this one and then threw it aside. now I'm thinking it isn't the word pitched that's confusing but floated, as Tom suggests. I'm going to make another change.
hoping someone will let me know if it helps or hinders the piece.

Stella