PoetryCircle
Contemporary
Poetry
Forum
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
«
PoetryCircle
•
The Writing
•
Editors' picks
• Topic:
social networking
»
Thread
Tools
Print
(Read 788 times) [
1
]
social networking
«
on:
August 29, 2010, 03:44:11 AM »
by
Tiko Lewis
hi,
i’m a good Catholic
especially during
Kwanzaa
and baseball season.
i don’t split bagels in New York
because splitting is taxed.
i like long walks in libraries
and donuts.
whenever.
making dreams come true
one personal message at a
time,
-felix
P.S.
the pink shirt is not my choosing-
who cares that it’s tucked in;
my shoes are athletic.
Logged
...i don't eat jelly beans afterward.
Re: social networking
«
Reply #1 on:
August 29, 2010, 08:48:54 AM »
by
Tom Riordan
Quote from: Tiko Lewis on August 29, 2010, 03:44:11 AM
hi,
im a good Catholic
especially during
Kwanzaa
and baseball season.
i dont split bagels in New York
because splitting is taxed.
i like long walks in libraries
and donuts--
whenever.
making dreams come true
one personal message at a
time,
-felix
P.S.
the pink shirt is not my choosing-
who cares that its tucked in;
my shoes are athletic.
Tiko, I'm excited about this "genre," what opportunities and freedom for portraits. This one a gas. Tom
Logged
Re: social networking
«
Reply #2 on:
August 29, 2010, 09:08:13 AM »
by
silent lotus
dear Tiko
aside from enjoying the poem in it's entirety
i find your choice of
felix
quite sublime
for it sets up innuendos that play with sound as well as meaning
very nice poeming
silent lotus
Logged
Re: social networking
«
Reply #3 on:
August 29, 2010, 10:38:47 AM »
by
MichelleBethCronk
I love that last line and thought tiko - this is interesting definately - M
Logged
Re: social networking
«
Reply #4 on:
August 29, 2010, 11:37:53 AM »
by
milner place
Yes, Tiko.
milner
Logged
'Caminante, no hay camino,
se hace camino al andar'
- Antonio Machado
Latest book 'naked invitation' $15 or £10, p&p inc
milnerplace@msn.com
Re: social networking
«
Reply #5 on:
August 30, 2010, 09:38:35 AM »
by
Tiko Lewis
thanks, guys. was trying
out something different.
glad it worked.
tiko
Logged
...i don't eat jelly beans afterward.
Re: social networking
«
Reply #6 on:
August 30, 2010, 01:23:39 PM »
by
maggie flanagan-wilkie
Tiko, I love this. Couple of suggestions where it loses its energy.
One's a major shift in the last stanza you might consider. Maggie
hi,
i’m a good Catholic
especially during Kwanzaa
and baseball season.
i don’t split bagels in New York
because splitting is taxed.
i like long walks in libraries
and donuts.
whenever.
making dreams come true
one personal message at a
time,
-felix
P.S.
the pink shirt is not my choosing—
who cares that it’s tucked in
my athletic shoes.
Logged
Re: social networking
«
Reply #7 on:
August 30, 2010, 02:38:24 PM »
by
Lynn Doiron
Love it, tiko. I want to socially network with this guy; he had me at "long walks in libraries" -- terrific. And the 'my shoes are athletic' suits those long walks between corridors of books. Much enjoyed.
Logged
My blogs:
http://lwww.lynndoiron.wordpress.com
for memoir/journal/poetry
Re: social networking
«
Reply #8 on:
August 30, 2010, 03:15:00 PM »
by
Tiko Lewis
Maggie,
thanks for the read and input. i've taken
one of the changes, but feel the change in
final stanza moves away from my intent.
thanks, as always.
Lynn,
thanks very much. :)
tiko
Logged
...i don't eat jelly beans afterward.
Re: social networking
«
Reply #9 on:
August 30, 2010, 05:23:23 PM »
by
Tom Riordan
want to cross-reference your last line with Doris's
Toes went
to an exhibition
Foot stays
on the mantel
Logged
Re: social networking
«
Reply #10 on:
August 30, 2010, 05:45:57 PM »
by
maggie flanagan-wilkie
Funny.
Logged
Re: social networking
«
Reply #11 on:
September 01, 2010, 09:46:53 PM »
by
Tiko Lewis
surprised to find this here.
thanks to the editor.
tiko
Logged
...i don't eat jelly beans afterward.
(Read 788 times) [
1
]
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
The Writing
-----------------------------
=> Editors' picks
=> Submit your poetry
=> Submit your prose
=> Challenges
=> Journalese
=> Front page
===> Front page archive
===> Archive 2010
===> - Archive 2011
-----------------------------
The Community
-----------------------------
=> Introductions
=> Discussions
=> Off topic
=> Interviews
=> Sights and sounds
=> Notices
-----------------------------
The Site
-----------------------------
=> Editors
=> Questions
Member
Tools
Home
Help
Calendar
Members List
Statistics
Login
Register
Latest
News
Follow PoetryCircle on Twitter.
Site
Stats
191286
Posts
18131
Topics
1517
Members
Latest Member:
David Gwilym Anthony
Support PoetryCircle
PoetryCircle | Powered by
SMF 1.1.15
.
© 2005,
Simple Machines
. All Rights Reserved.
Simplicity
design by
BlocWeb