The road
is dirt, asphalt, gravel

thatched stems
and beginnings
of whatever got in its path

able to carry
footfalls and wheels

always shouldered
and mindful
of what it is not

leading exactly
away from
or to
a destination

sought, or
having been met,
abandoned

indifference plain
in its countenance


There’s a twinge
like a veined wing of some forgotten thing
has passed very near when my feet touch
the skin of a road’s spine, feel the potholes
and patches as if vertebrae of a beast

    —Roads domesticate
       asking directions
       aloof, knowing
       even cow tracks
       have a way back.

The association of road/path with spine, Lynn, and the idea of it as limiting, lazying -- fascinating to think of life as a limited, lazy organization of matter, energy...Tom

Thanks, Tom.  I've been thinking about roads, and a line from a song, I think Bonnie Raitt, about a "train every day, leaving either way" [I think the song title is This is My Opening Farewell]

Glad you had a look!  Much appreciated.  ld

This poem is simple and wise, the best kind, and good.  Will read this one many times. 

Wonderful job,
cheryl

Thanks, Cheryl.  Before I started thinking about roads, I was of a mind to write a 4th of July poem.  Oh well.  Don't know where that thought got off to.  But very glad you like where this one goes.  ;)

Lynn,

I love this poem.  The impression holds up even having heard you read it.  My fave S:

always shouldered
and mindful
of what it is not

It bothers me to see you shift line lengths, though.  I don't see the reason for it.  Probably just me.

Rick

Thanks, Rick.  The switch to longer lines in penultimate stanza is because of the shift I wanted in tone, from something like observation of exterior to an interior reaction or realization.  Not certain myself.  The longer lines felt right.  [Could be wrong though]. 

Lynn, really enjoyed this poem - it reads very well and gives the reader somethiing to carry away when the poem is over. Really enjoyed !

Lynn,

loved the last two stanzas. 

enjoyed.

tiko

Lynn, you consistently produce lovely work ~
blending sensory and emotional responses


Stella

Casey, Tiko, Stella -- thanks! 

Great meditation. What if you lose 'destination' (S5). Rick's point about line lengths is interesting since you mentioned the intention of changing the cadence for the end. But now that I read with Rick's suggestion the poem coheres as if the end was intended from the start rather than a "revelation". S7 segues into the sense of S8 quite dramatically; forgive the presumption.

There’s a twinge
like a veined wing
of some forgotten thing
passing near
as my feet touch 
the road's spine,
feel the potholes,
the patches
as if vertebrae of a beast

asking directions
aloof, knowing
even cow tracks
have a way back.

I very much like the presumption.  

I tried changing but the result was a different poem and did not feel like what I thought it wanted to be.  So I changed it back, and then made edits to the end S. 

Thanks!  Very much appreciated your thoughts.

Lynn came back for another read after the changes and really enjoy this. Time to move to picks!

Nice surprise this AM!
Thank you!

ld

This was my turn to pick the front page - I loved this poem when you posted it and wanted to bring it to the front. Have read this many times since posted - always enjoying it

Congrats, Lynn! Tom

Casey, I'm honored!  And more than a little surprised.  Thank you.  Thank you.

And Tom, thanks.  I'd all but forgotten this poem.

lynn

Hurrah.

Interested in your comment, Lynn, especially as I was thinking that if I was still an editor and making a pick, there are a couple of recent poems of yours I'd have considered first. This goes to show the advantage of having editors with differing tastes.

Cheers

milner

Congrats, Lynn. 

A fine selection, Casey.

tiko

thanks tiko.  and thank you, milner.  and here! here! to our varied choices!  certainly working for me and especially thankful for casey's selection of this work -- making my day!  thanks again!

lynn

Lynn,

I'm still unsure about the format change near the end, but not about the beauty of the piece.  Truly some lovely turns of phrase, some thoughtful things to think on.....

I've been enjoying reading it each day - xo M

M -- I'm not sure about the format change near the end either, except that it's closer to mood than my efforts with shorter lines.  Not even certain if 'mood' is the right word.  Will just say that when I try shortened lines, it's a little like trying on a size 6 shoe when a 7 1/2 is the one I can wear and still get about.

Thanks for your note.  [This particular poem has  still probably got some fitting yet to do.]

ld

Did you ever try shifting the upper lines to fit the bottom?  Just wondering  - xo M

I did actually play with longer lines up top.  But the longer lines made it feel 'thought out' and shorter lines seemed as if coming to the reasoning step by step.  [This probably will make absolutely no sense to anyone but me -- and by next week, month, or year, very possibly will not make sense even to me.  It's so very odd how the voice in my head works.]  thank you again, M.  I like that you 'wonder' ;)

ld