I
Una when pronounced
has two distinct rhythms
sounds like it could be
an messanger through which eternity unfolds.

The first part is a wailing ‘oooon’
our tragedies the wind gathers.
The second an abrupt sudden ‘aaah’
that refuses to answer questions.

The word arrived into a space
that had been abruptly emptied
Like a new toy doll in the corner
whose overlooked never owned by conversation.

She remembers as a child knocked
to the bottom of a swimming pool
by huge man who came after her on a slide.
Still watching waiting for what was almost forever.

Chaos plunged with anxiety fished her out
Someone was watching from the unseen
Suffers from asthma that slides to panic
when she feels she’s drowning in situations.

Every Friday for six years
drove between rush hours
from Manchester to Liverpool
to reach the emptied space next to

a bed-bound mother. Arrived at ten
and left at four leaving 
special cakes covered in the updated
news of her grand children.

The clock shuffled along climbing
slowly up and down the hill of a day
would shunt the mood of her mother
when she saw her daughter’s bag and coat gathered

She’d say in the way only
mothers to daughters can:
‘I am going to buy you a cake
with hello and good bye on it’

II

Between pulling the blanket over
and leaving the hospital room
stories of visitations in dreams
to different members of the family descended.

A grand daughter saw her sat up
in the hospital bed in the same room,
a cup of tea in her hand smiling saying
the pain’s gone and she was glad its all over.

To another daughter on an infrequent visit
she was running, going west, with long hair
flowing behind her, radiant with a glow
that entered her like the heat off an iron.

Even when Una put her mother’s
big coat on and held her bag in elbow’s crook
In the way she use to; standing over
the mound of earth there were no signs of the divine

but a sudden stiff neck that
she got on the night her mother had died.
So at the reception she’d listen to
her mother life’s story but looked and moved like a cripple.

Ten days after the lowering
deep in to the earth
to rest just above the daughter
who had died at the age of four

Una had picked up days before
from the floor in the hall
and advert for a masseur
who had open a new business.

She had cancelled the first appointment
but was determined
to get relief from the knot in her neck
that poked her every time she turned.

She went with her friend Angie.
At first couldn’t find the place
and wanted to give up,
had walked passed the entrance twice.
 
She waited in the salon for her turn.
The shop was brand new
newly polished floors
and the smell of wet paint.
 
She jolted a little, sort of shocked,
when the masseur said
‘Would you like to
come through now?

she was older
than she imagined her
to be with dark glasses
and a bad limp.

She asked in a stern voice:
‘Any problems
I should know about?’
"My mam died 10 days ago

I don’t know if
this is tension
in my neck
or an injury?"

The woman’s expression
never change not even condolences
and she ask Una
to take a seat.
 
After she had finished
the massage to her neck
she’d said take a drink
and rest now

There was an awkward
silence that Una didn’t like.
She asked her about the job
And found she work with Macmillan nurses

The silence came again.
and Una said your job must be
very rewarding to which the masseur
replied ‘yes’ and smiled.

Una thought ‘Its time to leave
I have over stayed 
my welcome and
the masseur must have others.’
 
Then the woman said:
‘I hope you don’t
mind me asking
but who is Tom?

As harmless a question as
noticing a butterfly in the garden
She replied ‘That was
my father’s name.

She said: ‘Tom’s spirit is here now
and he wants me to tell you,
he has found your mother again
and you don’t need to worry.

Before she could finish
Her sentence Una started to cry
But the woman sort of pleaded:’ Don’t cry.
He doesn’t want you to be upset.

Does the name Jo or Joan
mean anything to you?
Una said yes it is the name
of my little sister who died

She said: ‘Well she is with them
The three of them
are all together again
and you don’t need to worry.
 
Una slid out of the salon
not quite the same
swimming in the waters
of what she had just heard.