I'll tell you,
nothing is ever
going to hurt you,
not while I'm around.

My wing
stretches over you
like babble over
a brook

or the silence
stretched over
a gnat pond.

Don't look up,
you won't see me,
but neither will you
ever spot a goshawk.

while i'm not usually a fan of traditional titles for poems, this one is completely fitting.  and the poem itself is quite touching and beautiful.
my only suggestion would be that you consider doing something to create a caesura at the end of line three...

 I'll tell you,
nothing is ever
going to hurt you,
not while I'm around.

maybe breaking that 4th line off into a two line stanza of its own.
just a thought.  but, on the whole...very nicely done, indeed.
john

This is beautiful, Tom.  The narrator's protective instinct taking on an angelic quality - how delightfully you describe the nature of the depth of this protection.

Don't look up,
you won't see me,
but neither will you
ever spot a goshawk.

I had to look up goshawk, having first considered it might be a creature akin to a unicorn, but what a beautiful creature the goshawk is, perhaps near-extinct or very unlikely to roost in the narrator's neck of the woods, or then again maybe an elusive or well-camouflaged hunter!

Peter, as you indicate and I didn't realize, the goshawk has been strangely absent from Britain and Ireland, though widespread in temperature climates otherwise around the globe.

"In the United Kingdom and Ireland, the Northern Goshawk became extirpated in the 19th century because of specimen collectors and persecution by gamekeepers, but in recent years it has come back by immigration from Europe, escaped falconry birds and deliberate releases. The Goshawk is now found in considerable numbers in Kielder Forest, Northumberland, which is the largest forest in Britain."

As forest dwellers and hunters there by stealth, they are best known by their prey - camouflaged, as you also surmise.

Anyway, thanks for looking -- John, you too, and thanks very much for the idea, which I will play with. Tom

Tom s2 - s4 is wonderful, i almost think you don't need s1 at all. you simple tell what you show in s2 - s4 just a thought. really nice imagery tho and voice in this

Thanks, Casey. It's true, S1 adds little idea-wise that S2-4 don't convey. It does, I think, set the voice for the rest of the poem. Which isn't to say necessarily that I couldn't rewrite S2 to do that job as well as present the first image. Will have to think about that all. Tom

I see Casey's point, but I agree with Tom that S1 sets the voice for the rest of the poem and without S1 the poem would start abruptly and the beauty of S2 would be upon the reader too quickly, and I shouldn't like to see S2 re-wriiten. 

This poem is one of my favourites.  For me it's the finished product!

Truly love this poem.  It's a favorite.  I say please, don't change a thing. 

cheryl

Cheryl, thanks for the encouragement. You too, Peter. I agree with your analysis. In theory, I think, as single line added to top of S2 might do what S1 does -

As long as I live,
my wing stretches
over you
like babble over
a brook

-or some such, but I haven't come up with that line, and maybe as you suggest, a little friendly, relatively dead space isn't such a bad thing before an onslaught of metaphors. Tom

My opinion:  'as long as I live' is too strong.  It narrows the poem down to something the author would only say to his wife or children.  If that's what you mean, say it to them.  But here, leave it open so that women like me can pretend, fantasize that these words are being told to us.  If you change it, well, then, see, it would no longer be a favorite.  I won't be filling my book of 'Tom Riordan Favorites' with love letters to your wife and family.  I'd feel like I was nosing places I shouldn't be.

But you've posted this in PoetryCircle, on the internet, for me and others like me, to enjoy and to embrace.  That's it.  That's what I'm trying to say.  This poem is easier to embrace as 'my own' (whether it is or not and does it matter? as a poet) if you leave it the way it is.

I know I'm sounding rude but I feel strongly about your poetry and poetry by others posted here.  Some of us don't have much to hang on to, but a poem like this can make my week, and any other week, should I revisit it.

In other words, there are some artists whose work is written so well he can't just call it his own.  It's a gift he gives the world around him.  Your writing is that way.  I embrace much of your writing.  I would hate for you to tell me not to, because it seems more like a gift, rather than a poet saying 'ok this is how I feel about my wife.  read it and like it.'

Another example of another writer here--John Yamrus.  The day his book of poetry arrived in my home and I read many of the poems to my mother and she laughed with me, and truly enjoyed and identified with the poems I read to her, his poetry became a gift to me, and then a gift from me to mom.

I hope this makes sense.  I'm merely saying allow your poetry to be a gift to us.  Not just a 'telling' of how you feel.

My apologies if I've offended you or anyone else.  Just feel the need to be truthful regarding your writing.

cheryl

Thank you, Cheryl. Such strong feelings are important to me, and I honor them. Rest assured, that line I mentioned above was an example of one that wouldn't do.
I agree poetry is a gift. I try not to be proprietary or sensitive. As far as I'm concerned, readers may choose any version you like, even edit one themselves and choose that. Why not? If I give you a sweater, can't you alter it to fit your own taste? Surely we all learned something from Free Willy. -Tom

Oh nooooooo.  I didn't see 'Free Willy'.  Now I'll have to buy it.

Going to swoop down and pick this, Tom.

milner

excellent pick, congrats tom, i do enjoy this one. has a great feel about it

No don't! I can't have that on my head! I didn't see it either! Just joking!!