I would sorely miss D's end line; it brings the piece home for me.

"Were you not made to swim / up stream" is just the beginning of the essential turn that the speaker takes from discussing her own "pure instinct" to addressing that of the "you" in the poem. Without the last lines, the "were you not" question would seemingly spring out of nowhere and be completely devoid of sense, for it is the last lines that allow us to understand the reason for the question in the first place. No, I see the last lines as absolutely essential. What's nice about them, in fact, is how they imply that the speaker's earlier impressions of the "you" were mistaken without the speaker ever having to say so directly. "I saw that determination in you," in fact, implies that the "you" did/does not have the determination of which the speaker writes in the beginning. And we know that only because of the "Were you not made" question earlier.

2 schools. 2 ideas. Much respect. RLR

No problem. I'm not seeing this as about schools at all, however, but about how the poem is to be read. Maybe Desiree can weigh in on her intentions.

Glad to see this brought forward for recognition.  Fine writing.

great to read this again.
congrats on front page.

tiko

an excellent delivery through and through

cheers

james

The first part of this poem, to me, is magnificent.  The shift to an unidentified person (the reader?), however, confuses me.   The ending seems inconclusive, also. But I do like the first sentence exceedingly, it is so fresh and vivid and interesting and also sounds right. 

Excellent up to the last three lines, at which point it repeats what it's already said and the last line unfortunately is the dampest of squibs.

wonderfull writ and much enjoyed

james

Jay,

Thanks for the placement.  Years back I would diligently confirm or correct notions about my mind's
trek.  Now, I prefer to ponder other interpremades and savor the even betterness of distant thinks.

I have not posted because I quit smoking, consequently, it feels like my IQ has dropped 10 points.  I'm
not sure it was a measure I could spare.

Have enjoyed reading the new voices here this morning.....as well as the recognized.

Once again, I appreciate the attention.

Later,  D

Good luck with the smoking quit. It could be that, like the Scarecrow in Wizard of Oz, more thoughts rather than less are fogging your mind, Desiree! They say now that smoking can be added to the many beloved activities that dim intelligence http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2005-10/uomh-dsc101005.php. Tom

Dutch Smoking Ban Reversed For Small Bars, Cafes
| 11/ 3/10 12:08 PM | 

THE HAGUE, Netherlands — The new Dutch government has scrapped a smoking ban for small bars and cafes, reversing a public health measure introduced two years ago by the previous administration.

Health Minister Edith Schippers says the ban will be lifted on family-run bars and cafes smaller than 70 square meters (750 sq. feet), but won't change for places larger than that.

Schippers said Wednesday in a letter to parliament the move "gives consumers more choice".

Small cafe owners complained bitterly after the ban became official in July 2008, saying it sent their profits plummeting.

Schippers said the government will lift the ban immediately.

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