Duncan came down
from the corrie,
leading the black pony
with the dead stag
across its back
and the fat client
trailing behind.

He wished
it was
the other way
round.

Hey Milner,

Enjoying the wit of this one...imparticular the image and message communicated with such brevity. I wonder about that word "wishes" and wonder if you might be considering other options...perhaps, "imagines"? I like the word "wishes" there, but am curious if something else is more accurate and telling.

A fine scene, Milner. Tom

nothing to add milner - enjoyed.

man, you are on such a roll lately!
good for you!
john

so Duncan reappears.  how very cool.

looking forward to,
cheryl

Thanks, Joe. I think 'wishes' expresses his thought pretty well. But I'll ponder on.

Tom, Daryl, John, Cheryl, your thumbs up much appreciated. You pushed me to this, Cheryl, so a special thanks.

Cheers

milner

Milner is one of the very few who truly understands that you don't have to say everything in order to say it all.  he SUGGESTS more than most writers ever say.
john

Wow, John, many thanks. I do try not to underestimate my audience.

milner

this is just too good to wait on...i couldn't resist moving it to the front page, once again with the comment that some writers try and say it all in a poem...milner is content to say just enough.

congrats, Milner! Tom

Bravo!

congrats milner, great poem!

love it
great choice for Front Page
congratulations, milner


Stella

as the guy who chose to put up this poem, i have to pat myself on the back and say that i'm kinda like Hugh Heffner...i know talent when i see it!

My oh my, just got home to find this up front. Thanks to all for your kind messages, and most of all to John Yamrus for picking it. It was a great surprise and I'm going to celebrate with a beer, or possibly a couple or so, with or without Hugh Heffner for company!

Cheers

milner

Milner,

excellent.
excellent.
excellent.

good pick.

tiko

Corrie, eh? Good to see these lovely regional words getting a run out.

Personally, and in the full awareness that I'm probably trying to teach my grandfather to suck eggs, does S2 not seem a little telly to you, Milner? I only say that because you have literally told us what Duncan is thinking. Something more oblique, more of a telling image might be better.

E&OE, as ever!

Cheers

David

A triple 'excellent', Tiko, makes for a bright morning for me.

You've a point there, David, but my choice here was to keep it plain and simple (and play god).

Thanks to you both.

milner

I've neglected to acknowledge Cheryl's important contribution to this poem's birth. I doubt if she hadn't said she thought my 'Man of the road' (http://www.poetrycircle.com/index.php/topic,17172.0.html) might be one of a series, this would have emerged. Can't be certain, but it sure got me thinking.
You've my gratitude, Cheryl.

Cheers

milner

It's the only deity I've got, SL. Love the photo. Where do you find these wonderful and appropriate images that you present us with?

Lots of cheers

milner

I like how the vice versa is ambiguous, at least to me.
I don't know if "He" is Duncan, the stag, the pony or client
and whom should trade places with whom.

 

just little surprises that pop up in an Image search on google

Thanks, Scott.

You've jogged my slow memory there, SL, as I believe it's the same source as the eds at Outlaw Poetry use.

Thanks

milner

Hello, Milner! Good to read your poems again. This one is excellent!
Vasile

Great to see you back in the neighbourhood, Vasile. Hope all goes well for you in Romania. We miss you. Many thanks

milner

Digging through older posts and found this. Just love it. Parfait!

Glad you so enjoyed this, Rob. 'Parfait', not so sure of that, but thanks all the same.

Cheers

milner