I follow a cow trail through
the virgin prairie,
dry in most places, hot,
and I am wind burnt.
I go by a shrinking slough;
no rain this year.
Under the crust of the shore edge
my tracks
show plainly
with the cows'.

NR, welcome to PC! Hope you enjoy here. I enjoy this poem, the direct language and strong images. I wonder if you could cut Line 1 and the last two, and let those images do more of the work. Tom

Thank-you, Tom.  I am so pleased that you looked over it. I tried what you suggested, and I like it, but am not sure if the  last line still sounds a little off.

Love the opening four lines, NR.  Not sure the But is needed is L8.  Also, just a thought, wondered about cutting 'I want' at L10 and ending a bit earlier, like this


I follow a cow trail through
the virgin prairie,
dry in most places, hot,
and I am wind burnt.
I go by a shrinking slough;
no rain this year.
Under the crust of the shore edge
my tracks
show plainly
with the cows'.

Hope you'll forgive the meddling.

ld

Good points, thank-you.

nrw

n.r welcome to pc!  this poem has shaped very nicely with your revisions and edits.  believe me, tom and lynn will never take the wheel down the wrong highway.  the whole piece is rich and strikes the senses (even the dung!).  enjoyed this stroll this morning and look forward to reading more. lawrence

Hi, lawrence!  I am enjoying this all very much.  I'm 300 miles from that pasture now, but this poem brings it here for me.

Went all the way with this, N.R, and it was a most pleasing trip.

milner

N.R.,

this is much improved. 

love it.

tiko

I'm pleased you liked it, milner and tiko. 

The thanks really go to tom and lynn!

nrw

they are great, aren't they?

It's my week and my honor to make the featured poem pick today.  'Change' is a poem that holds for me that intangible sense of continuation through a landscape not easily traversed.  There's a vastness I find in these simple lines.  A journey, or a metaphor for the journey, I continue to make. 

lynn

nrw, congrats!!

Wow, I am in shock and don't know what to say.  Thank-you, Lynn.

Thanks, Tom.

nrw

NR, very nice work - congrats on getting the front page!

congrats NRW.

tiko

Congratulations, NR, most refreshing. Great pick, Lynn.

milner

Casey, Tiko, milner,  thank-you so much.

I wrote the original nine years ago.  I have had one friend who enjoyed contemporary poetry, and she thought this one was good.  I thought if someone saw something in this poem when I posted it here, then I would know if my poems were worth anything.  There will be no stopping me now!  lol

nrw

Awesome choice!

congratulations, N. R.
a fine choice for Front Page


Stella

Pleased you think so, Lavonne, and Stella!    nrw

dear silent lotus,

thank-you for the beautiful comment!

nrw

Nr, haven't told you congratulations and how much I love this poem.  What a wonderful pick, Lynn.

I am so glad you like it, cheryl.  Thank-you.   nrw