the wild boys bombard
each other savagely
with snow.

the good boy
stands at the periphery
makes himself a snowball
and smashes it
to the ground at his feet



series www.poetrycircle.com/index.php/topic,16764

Regarding women and men, some say the 'good' boy never gets the girl, but that's not true.  Wild boys aren't always more attractive.  This is an interesting poem, and effectively shows the frustration of a 'good' boy.  I wonder how really 'riled' a good boy gets.

cheryl

dear Tom

can feel the explosive sentiment of uncertainty
and the need to express the pent up adolescent tension
facing the confrontations of trust and acceptance

a nice Brueghel type landscape
in the modern day hood

can envision the snowplow passing by and spraying salt
under a sagging scape of frostbitten phone lines

a nice depiction of periphery


silent lotus
 

thank you for reading, cheryl and silent, your vivid reactions. tom

excellent...tom, there's never a wasted word or a false step.

A pick for me.  Excellent contrast between the risk takers and the one who holds back.  Though we know there is so much more to the boy, we don't need to know what it is. His actions tell us enough. 

i too find this most striking.  the way you have worked in the anger and self-hate for the good boy was remarkable.

excellent work and observations.

tiko

John, Lavonne, Tiko, thank you all for reading, and I do appreciate the Pick, Lavonne. Tom

savagely works for me in S1.  I hate adverbs, in general.  However, savagely seems absolutely necessary in this work to move reader [absolutely me] to the punch and reveal of S2.  What doesn't work for me in S2 is furiously.  Again, absolutely me, but furiously dilutes the use of smashes.  Sorry.  It's like ka-POW! in a batman comic, whereas 'smashes' is a smashing great verb and absolutely shows the fury.

;)

tom, loved this poem. really good work on seperating the two worlds

Lynn thank you I think you're right, and removed the offender.
Casey, pleased you enjoyed. Thanks for weighing in. Tom