when i bought my first car
for next to nothing
there was no
check engine light
or low on oil

when the gas ran close to empty
i didn't know until the engine
stopped

day after day
i had to learn
what a good day felt like
and then listen
for a change to the tempo

love this, Casey. tom

love this as well. 

last stanza rocks. 

tiko

ditto the praise on this, casey.  really like where the end S takes me.  i'm wondering how it might read in the "now" as juxtaposed to the "when" of S1 and S2?  As in

day after day
i learned
what a good day felt like
and now listen
for a change to the tempo

o my o my, casey, you've touched my heart.  Right now, in my life, I'm experiencing the last verse.  I've almost almost almost ceased listening for the change in tempo (which I think would sound better than change TO THE, imo).  But I know what you're talking about and it sure feels better reading it from the positive side, now days.

bless you, you're my hero of the day,
cheryl

thanks all for the feedback and the kind words - i am very happy to hear this one landed well with you four.  really appreciate it -

I smiled and was shot back into the seventies.  My second car -- first new one -- had a bum gas gauge, and I drove for years by feel.

To picks, C. Life. -T.

Excellent, Casey, and that old car about sums me up.

Cheers

milner

Once again, I find myself in disagreement with the above posts. How does this poem lift the subject of the car to the imagination? Good poetry should be at least as well written as prose--not diary entries. The poem doesn't move the reader...why? And seriously...editor's picks--where's the POETIC rational?

For me, Joe, the whole last S brings the image of the car into the realm of how I experience my whole life - a good evocation of that menace that hovers behind the silver cloud, that part of me is always listening for. Tom

That's the problem, in my opinion. Resonance does not equal good poetry, Tom. Additionally, with respect to your above argument, there is no allusion to comparing it to the "walks of life."

This is a journal entry, broken. Please show me valid poetic rational (other than it just makes you feel tingly about your own life), or alternatively, debase further the editor's picks credibility.

I don't mean to be rude, but I am no moron...and the fact that there is unquestionable praise for a work of this nature feels patronizing to me, as a participant of this site.

I'm not sure there are any empirical standards to measure poetic rational. There are interesting ones and some liked and some not. I think this poem drives at the narrator's interface with alarm. The simile depends on the word 'felt' functioning as a sign maker from the car as well as 'felt' to sign the tempos of one's life. A kind of folksy fifties feel of metaphor that could easily be swallowed with beer. It's always taste.

larry

thanks all for the kind words and for the pick! i am glad to see this one here, it is very much appreciated.

joe, thanks for taking a read and no worries about the response, not all poems will land with everyone. thanks for giving it a try though -

Joseph,

Here's where we disagree.  For me, the poetry = resonance / length.  A construction without resonance is flat.  A wordy construction with resonance is flatulent.

Robert Bly said, "a poem should be more than what caused it to happen."

Resonance is important, but not the sole factor for poetic determinance.

John Yamrus said: "People either get my poems, or they don’t."

it's that simple.

tiko

a poem should create an emotional reponse - i think it succeeded :)

Oh man, I feel bad that this has digressed into discussion on someone's posted poem. Perhaps, we should end this and if we feel the need to discuss it further, start a discussion topic. I do enjoy flushing these feelings out, though!