she brings down the house
with her topless drum solos
and he the aryan tattoos
all up and down his arms

dear ole dad can come or go
on yammering about his jesus
but one bony finger raised in
warning is no more deterrent

than the shattered tail lights
on their fire-emblazoned truck
or recent hepatitis B scare

this world is their juicy oyster
and the fact they don't know
how to shuck it doesn't matter

that's what boot heels are for
and if it still won't open fuck it

heheheheh
good one Tom

The only tiny,teeny thing that bugs me is the closeness of the two 'don't's is S8. And that's just  a visual thing.

I like the craftiness of this poem written in couplets about twins.

Lavonne, thank you for pointing that out, fixed it, the second one was also anomalously the only "bad grammar" in the poem, so good riddance. Tom

Funny you wrote this poem.

I love it.  Wrote one at work tonight that mixes well with this one.

Anyway, I get a bit lost at vs.6.  Seems like I don't know what you're talking about.

cheryl

Please don't assume that I do, Cheryl, and you're missing something! LOL. Will see if there's something I can do about that. Thank you. Tom

p.s. made a small change in L13 that might help a bit...

ok, I get it now.  you're talking about shucking the oyster or kicking it with bootheels or fuck it open, which makes perfect sense, since these are kids still living with their parents, fuck is on their minds all the time.

I suppose it would help to know who the twins are and why you're writing about those particular twins.  Bad about watching the news or reading the newspaper (it's depressing) so if these two are a news item, I don't know it.

cheryl

Cheryl, I added "his" to the title to give a bit more context to the twins...will move this to Submit now, in any event. Thanks for these thoughts. Tom

this making more sense now and is a good one.  very colorful characters these two.  cheryl

thanks cheryl. glad it reads smoother now, needed the prodding. tom

This one's a pick for me.  You're really good with marginal characters, Tom.

Rick

Rick, thank you so much. I'll let the kids know. Tom