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  Eel Catching
« on: January 29, 2010, 09:24:37 AM » by marc woodward
A midnight fog lays down the land;
sucks quietly on the ploughed field,
wetly kisses the upturned sod,
whispers from the river mouth
the fetid smell of marsh decay.
The moon and stars, obscured by mist
stare upon other worlds tonight.
Time passes with no sense of motion.
The Earth lies still - except for me,
by the river, waiting for eels.

Now into this brackish reach the tide is running.
Sliding, gliding through underwater grass,
tracing the current in the blind depth,
I can almost sense them: the eels are coming...

The small bell on the rod end rings,
I strike and take a fat one on.
Writhing, cavorting, turning,
a liquid figure of eight.
One long, shiny, slimy, twisting muscle.
I haul it to the bank.
Blackest in the blackness,
thrashing fiercely in the torchlight,
as if in tongues before the priest.

Later, walking through the wet grass
kneehigh by the silent river,
the eel is still persisting, twisting,
in the carrier bag I hold
flapping at my side.
On the back door step I do the act,
decapitation with a kitchen knife.
So much dark blood, like thick red oil,
escaping out toward the earth.
Still the eel moves in defiance,
blood without and blood within,
a soulless, deathless, lifeless thing.

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  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2010, 10:47:21 AM » by Tom Riordan
very rich, marc, love it. a few thoughts. cut "oscured by mist" and "lifeless"? a bit of bump in S1, where "waiting for eels" sounds also "still". what a story though, great strong lingering images. tom
A midnight fog lays down the land;
sucks quietly on the ploughed field,
wetly kisses the upturned sod,
whispers from the river mouth
the fetid smell of marsh decay.
The moon and stars, obscured by mist
stare upon other worlds tonight.
Time passes with no sense of motion.
The Earth lies still - except for me,
by the river, waiting for eels.

Now into this brackish reach the tide is running.
Sliding, gliding through underwater grass,
tracing the current in the blind depth,
I can almost sense them: the eels are coming...

The small bell on the rod end rings,
I strike and take a fat one on.
Writhing, cavorting, turning,
a liquid figure of eight.
One long, shiny, slimy, twisting muscle.
I haul it to the bank.
Blackest in the blackness,
thrashing fiercely in the torchlight,
as if in tongues before the priest.

Later, walking through the wet grass
kneehigh by the silent river,
the eel is still persisting, twisting,
in the carrier bag I hold
flapping at my side.
On the back door step I do the act,
decapitation with a kitchen knife.
So much dark blood, like thick red oil,
escaping out toward the earth.
Still the eel moves in defiance,
blood without and blood within,
a soulless, deathless, lifeless thing.


Marc
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  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2010, 01:21:20 PM » by StellaR


your words came alive for me, marc. superb writing


Stella
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“Logical argument is what destroys poetry because poetry is beyond logic.” Robert Graves

  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2010, 09:24:59 PM » by Lynn Doiron
"great, strong, lingering images" tom wrote above.  ditto that. 

at some point the -ings became a wee bit redundant and somehow dulled the actual word and its meaning; however, for the most part thel -ings created a world occupied but hunter and hunted, a world that continues to writhe even as I write this.  Also should mention I was put in mind of E. Bishop's The Fish (of course, she let him go) due to your details in creating this. 

ld
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My blogs:
http://lwww.lynndoiron.wordpress.com for memoir/journal/poetry

  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2010, 07:00:42 AM » by marc woodward
Thanks all. I'm afraid it's slightly overwritten (and certainly in comparison with much of the output on this site!) but it all seems necessary to me. Ah, the age old problem of being too close...

Marc
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  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2010, 08:55:55 AM » by milner place
Agree there's little room for cutting here, Marc. In the last stanza, 'Later' and 'I hold' wouldn't be missed. Maybe also 'soulless' in the last line - the assumption that it had a 'soul' before is, well, questionable (the same is true of the human animal too).

Cheers

milner
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'Caminante, no hay camino,
se hace camino al andar'
- Antonio Machado

Latest book 'naked invitation' $15 or £10, p&p inc milnerplace@msn.com

  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2010, 10:09:59 AM » by marc woodward
Thanks Milner, point taken re soulless. Do you think stating something is soulless somehow implies it or it's type could have a soul?
Or are you interpretating me as claiming the animal no longer has a soul because I've killed it?

My thoughts were that the eel refusing to die and proving to be just a horrible sheath of nerves, blood and muscle was evidence that it never possessed a soul...
It still seemed to fight even when decapitated...

Marc
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  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2010, 10:23:44 AM » by milner place
I agree, now, with your intent and that reading of 'soulless' here, Marc. The problem with any use of 'soul' is that it is so often slackly used by budding 'poets', and also means so many differing things to different people, that its use, to be effective, needs to be in a particular setting that dispels confusion. In this case, maybe you should just leave it there as long as you are content with how it may be 'misread' by some.

This gives me the opportunity to pick this poem.

Cheers

milner
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'Caminante, no hay camino,
se hace camino al andar'
- Antonio Machado

Latest book 'naked invitation' $15 or £10, p&p inc milnerplace@msn.com

  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2010, 12:16:04 PM » by marc woodward
Many thanks Milner, I'm honoured, of course.
Marc
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  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2010, 04:20:29 AM » by silent lotus
dear Marc

you caught so much here

and if i were an editor i should one day
place this on a front page.

silent lotus
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  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2010, 07:32:08 AM » by marc woodward
Thanks SL, flattery always welcome!
Cheers,
Marc
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  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #11 on: March 18, 2010, 12:48:39 PM » by Tom Riordan
moving this to Front Page for the week....

Still enjoying this so much Marc. The poem treats with realistic sensory details but the mask is off and the portrait is wholly of an underneath world. Tom
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  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2010, 04:05:17 PM » by Lynn Doiron
brilliant!  -- and just where it ought to be!

lynn
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My blogs:
http://lwww.lynndoiron.wordpress.com for memoir/journal/poetry

  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #13 on: March 18, 2010, 09:31:48 PM » by Jill Winkowski
Oh my god. This is so beautiful. Thank you, Marc. So wonderful to read.
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"FOR God's sake hold your tongue, and let me love ;" John Donne, The Canonization

  Re: Eel Catching
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2010, 06:22:32 AM » by marc woodward
Thanks Tom, I feel honoured!

And thanks Lynn and Jill for your kind appreciation.

Marc
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