Thank you, Lynn, for choosing my poem, and all of your kind comments.

Being read, a poem has the beauty of a dead newspaper; it's just a blur of type

No ungratefulness meant, but as a vase of flowers is against the rules, I relinquish this space.

Peter, how rich and beautiful. Not only vivid particulars, but an entire existential point of view. Tom

Pete, I agree with Tom, and love the last two lines of this beautiful tribute.

cheryl

This creates such a nice picture without over using adjectives and overblown language. -Alex

Such a fine read -- must be a pick.

lynn

Peter, this is wonderful.... nothing less than a glimpse of what it is to be human.  My hat's off to you!

Spot on Lynn, a pick indeed, if not a front-page-to-be.

k

Peter,

by which I've gorged on the pies of my glory
and waited for some other morning,
You'll allow me to scratch out
some beautiful postcards

most beautiful lines in a most beautiful poem. Thank you for the pleasure.

JC
 

Gorgeous piece of writing here, Peter!

by which I've gorged on the pies of my glory
and waited for some other morning,


What a gift this one is!

~donna

read and loved
so happy to see it picked!

Stella

Thank you all ever so much - Tom, Cheryl, Alex, Lynn, Kevin, J.C, Donna and Stella - much appreciated

I like the way the single-sentence construction adds the power of syntax to push the poem's idea along.  Two weak spots for me, though were the use of "pies of glory" (bathos), and the confusion of time of day:  midnight gravel and sun-curtained room.

Rick

Yeah, I take your point about the bathos in that line, hey, but there're some very elegant pies you know, what about steak and stout pie with a George V creme de menthe short-crust pastry for example! ;-)

That's a good point about midnight gravel and sun-curtained room. I didn't spot that. I'm gonna have to have a think about that. Glad you drew it to my attention.

And thank you ever so much, Rick, much appreciated

as I read it, a room with sun-curtains has sun-curtains 24/7. i just imagined those very thick curtains like hotel rooms have

Yeah, I was thinking that.  But could sun-curtained imply that the sun is out/shining, and being curtained/day-time.  Actually yeah, or rather no, i don't suppose it necessarily does. 

I stopped a moment to rectify in my head, and it rectified fine, but it did give a second's stop; don't know if there's another term for those ominous and depressing block-out-every-ray curtains or not.

Didn't necessarily mean those type of curtains - although I like their image - but am feeling happier now that the idea comes across  that the room is sun-curtained (N not able to see the sun) and it doesn't matter if the sun is actually shining at that time of day that the mdnight implies

Peter,

for me there is beauty and grit in this, as if the dance defiled. 

enjoyed.

tiko

Just adding my applause, Peter.

milner

I missed this and must add my praise. The cadence is wonderful and for me, the bump about the sense of curtain simply keeps the ambiguity at the right pitch.

larry

Not sure why I missed this but glad to have found it now. Wonderful read.

Merci beaucoup - Tiko, Milner, Larry and Lavonne - tres apprécié

(a strange feeling of Frenchness has come over me tonight lol)

Peter, stopped by to read again and relish again. A wonder full creation.   "Sun-curtained" works for me because I read it as that room (heaven, judgement, the other place?) is always curtained by the sun, or rather by what the sun represents.

(Funny how tangled up spiritual stuff gets the minute you try to use logic!)

k

Just to add my 2 cents about the sun-curtained. I think it works well. I did some googling and found that they can also be called "opaque curtains".
Again, enjoyed this much!!
JC

Ta guys

Peter, a delight to find this on the front page.  It grows deeper with every read.  Outstanding my friend.

k

congrats, Peter! tom

Will enjoy this through the week, Peter.

milner

I like this poem, but, I thought the last line lacked the punch and pizazz I was feeling from the preceding lines. Perhaps, it feels a bit like it was written in haste with little editing. Sometimes, nice outlines of what could be good poems emerge, and while I think this is nearly a complete poem I think there are areas that could use elaboration and clarification. And, pizazz on that last line. Just me. And, also, a wonderful poem despite my cranky criticism.

Joe

P.S. The title, also, rubs me the wrong way...seems cliche, and almost humorous?

What a lovely surprise! Thank you for choosing this for the front page, Lynn.

---

Kevin, Tom and Milner - Thanks again guys

---

Thanks Joe.  Some good food for thought there

No humorous intent meant!

Peter, just wanted to say thanks for your 'thanks' and to add how beautiful and real I find this this poem.  It has a quality that seems almost unfinished in its brevity, a simple plainness and sincerity that touches me deeply.  For this reader, if the work were more polished, I'm not certain I'd have found the same connection.  It is all so very subjective -- what lines or words or ideas will move me on a particular day and given a particular mood or state of mind.  I've revisited this poem several times in the past week or more, and with each visit I've felt the same ache to understand, or be understood (by what, I'm at a loss to say).   My thanks to you for having penned it.

lynn

so glad to see this here, pete.

HaHaHa...lovin the humor!

peter, this was a very enjoyable poem - the best thing i have read in a while hands down

Sorry you feel that way Peter.  As you wish.