Thank you, Lynn, for choosing my poem, and all of your kind comments.

Being read, a poem has the beauty of a dead newspaper; it's just a blur of type

No ungratefulness meant, but as a vase of flowers is against the rules, I relinquish this space.

Peter, how rich and beautiful. Not only vivid particulars, but an entire existential point of view. Tom

Pete, I agree with Tom, and love the last two lines of this beautiful tribute.

cheryl

This creates such a nice picture without over using adjectives and overblown language. -Alex

Such a fine read -- must be a pick.

lynn

Peter, this is wonderful.... nothing less than a glimpse of what it is to be human.  My hat's off to you!

Spot on Lynn, a pick indeed, if not a front-page-to-be.

k

Peter,

by which I've gorged on the pies of my glory
and waited for some other morning,
You'll allow me to scratch out
some beautiful postcards

most beautiful lines in a most beautiful poem. Thank you for the pleasure.

JC
 

Gorgeous piece of writing here, Peter!

by which I've gorged on the pies of my glory
and waited for some other morning,


What a gift this one is!

~donna

read and loved
so happy to see it picked!

Stella

Thank you all ever so much - Tom, Cheryl, Alex, Lynn, Kevin, J.C, Donna and Stella - much appreciated

I like the way the single-sentence construction adds the power of syntax to push the poem's idea along.  Two weak spots for me, though were the use of "pies of glory" (bathos), and the confusion of time of day:  midnight gravel and sun-curtained room.

Rick

Yeah, I take your point about the bathos in that line, hey, but there're some very elegant pies you know, what about steak and stout pie with a George V creme de menthe short-crust pastry for example! ;-)

That's a good point about midnight gravel and sun-curtained room. I didn't spot that. I'm gonna have to have a think about that. Glad you drew it to my attention.

And thank you ever so much, Rick, much appreciated

as I read it, a room with sun-curtains has sun-curtains 24/7. i just imagined those very thick curtains like hotel rooms have

Yeah, I was thinking that.  But could sun-curtained imply that the sun is out/shining, and being curtained/day-time.  Actually yeah, or rather no, i don't suppose it necessarily does. 

I stopped a moment to rectify in my head, and it rectified fine, but it did give a second's stop; don't know if there's another term for those ominous and depressing block-out-every-ray curtains or not.