Hung at a slant where the flank topped the hogwire, cloven hoof dangling on the far side—the remnants of a fawn.  Al called the square-wired patterning “field fencing.”  Daddy said “hogwire.”  Both have been dead a long time.  The fawn, hidden by blackberry and Muscat vines, thistle, stingweed, snow from the cottonwood trees, buried above ground by a season, was risen now, unclothed of leaves, dismantled.  What scavengers picked her bones clean?  Who carried off her head and forelegs?  And how high did she leap and for what cause?  The hoof threads through two squares—in and out.  Higher up, a fissure runs against the grain.  She must have believed in herself, in legs able to spring her slight weight up and over a barrier camouflaged by nature, seemingly nature itself, that trapped her as surely as any manmade trap will trap a careless or inquisitive creature.  A happy creature, perhaps, playing tag with a yearling sibling or cousin or mother doe, suddenly snapped near the ilia, suddenly hung in the wild, wildly thrashing against the break, weaving the small dark hoof down and through, waiting for . . . waiting for some rescue?  I am no heroine.  Even if I had come upon the living and crying-out fawn, I know myself, how I would have back-tracked, covered my ears from the pain, re-claimed a clear path to the rise up the hill, the house on the bluff, the fire in the hearth, heat snapping loose embers to float red-orange against the sooty backdrop.

I am always impressed by your talent for packing 10 pounds of emotion into a 1 pound paragraph.

:)

I read this bit of flash memoir at the baja writer's workshop today and a couple of people had trouble with the fence wire, what it looked like or what it was.  I sort of see their point, but having grown up with hogwire around gardens and cross-fencing properties, I knew what I meant, but seem to have missed in creating the image for them.  I'm thinking I maybe gave too much info?  Any thoughts?  Should I maybe just call it "field fencing" as it is termed in the catalogs?  Or just simply "hogwire" and let the later mention of squares do its work?  The references appear too early on and too short a piece for the reader to grt tangled up in thoughts about what the hell kind of fencing I'm going for . . .

Thanks for look and kind words, my friend!

ld 

Am I too soft, Lynn, or should this be:

how I would have wanted to back-track, cover my ears from the pain, re-claim a clear path to the rise up the hill, the house on the bluff, the fire in the hearth, heat snapping loose embers to float red-orange against the sooty backdrop.

Very lovely either way, very much poetry....just not sure the N is that hard, I would like to have the option to prefer to believe....

Tom

Very vivid. I'm not struggling with the N's fear. It works as it is since the narrator didn't actually come upon the fawn. Tom's suggestion reads smoother, but the present is stark, more like the tone of the rest of it.

I can't see the confusion about the wire. Wire is wire and you've just about drawn a picture with ."..square-wired patterning “field fencing.” 

larry

No problem here with the wire.  Agree with Lar.

Must just be these baja ex-pats who migrated south from San Francisco and wouldn't know baling wire from bubble gum [both of which my dad used to repair washing machines and tractors].

too soft?  you?  Tom?  not at all.  But I fear I am that hard.  The image still haunts me of those remnants on that fence; if I'd come upon the fawn alive, in truth, I think I would've gone and found someone to put it out of its misery, but I would've back-tracked and left the scene, the sounds. 

Larry, thanks for thoughts/comments.  I'm now working on a happier piece, something a little less stark/dark. 
Lavonne, thanks for staying with this one. 

Now.  Guys and Gal -- I've noticed an area where I use trapped, trap and trap in near succession and am considering altering some words, unless the repetitions work.  No one's mentioned them, so maybe they pass, but . . .

"that trapped her as surely as any manmade trap will trap a careless or inquisitive creature."

Getting someone else to help fawn isn't hard, that's just sensible! I didn't think your N was going to even do that, and it didn't sound like here. Tom