Versions

In one arrangement, she is wreathed
in dandelion and teeth
and sings from the choir’s gallery.
We listen, glancing
at each other’s history.

She is wry and keeps the buttons
to her blouse tightly fastened.
Later, if you should happen by
there’ll be dancing
and gin with tomato pie.

A swallow, perched on the eaves,
sings bold faced to the sun.

On the other side of the table
under a harsh bare bulb,
sweat scrolls down her cheek.
She isn’t sure anymore
what she said to the bird.

Larry, how do we buy tickets?
You make me realize that a poem is  a ticket to someplace you can't otherwise get into.
Tom

I love this, Larry. I think you want a comma after "eaves," since your line breaks elsewhere are not substituting for that punctuation mark.

great larry. your meter is always such a pleasure to unravel - intuitive for the tongue.

Larry, very nice.  Love the last 2 lines.

Tiko

Another winner for me, Larry. Lovely rhyme, by/pie. Jay is right about the comma though, and I find 'bold faced' is awkward.

james

wonderful, Larry

Stella
(Tom's reply is too difficult to follow)

Excellent - just for me, those last two lines make the poem - Michelle

Larry, I think I understand this.  And the writing is great.  All I'll say for now.

peace,
cheryl

Thanks for the notes, and the catch, Jay. James, I am still struggling with 'bold face' I need a way to reset the metrical tone and so... Tom, that's the best compliment a poem could fish for.

larry

Wonderful, Larry.

"Bold faced" is bumping for me too...

k

Whether you change bold faced or not, its a pick.

Love this, Larry. Wonder if something like 'gape-billed' might serve for 'bold-faced'?

milner

Bold-faced works for me (just my two cents )

I played with saying you could change it to something like "sings bold lyrics to the sun"

but I'm not sure it has the same hit without it - One of the reasons I like it is because it is a different way of saying it.  The difference in the language caused me to look up and take notice.....the phrase "bold faced" makes all the difference when you get to those last two lines....

I've noticed that people tend to feel funny about lines that are a bit unconventional in grammar or sound or idea, but sometimes those are the lines that make it all worthwhile.

Michelle