Pace and Salvation

PoetryCircle

ContemporaryPoetryForum

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

« PoetryCircle • The Writing • Front page • Front page archive • Topic: Pace and Salvation »

ThreadTools

(Read 3272 times) 1 [2] All

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #15 on: July 26, 2009, 10:28:16 AM » by ca.leverette

Tom, one more thing, and I hate to be so nit-picky, but you seem bound and determined to keep 'apply' in that last couplet. Sounding ok that way, but I wonder if you really need it. To my eyes and ears the poem would be just fine without 'lips apply' or 'apply'. A slow kiss is a slow kiss, and only our lips can apply them.

If you know what I mean. In fact I wonder if you left something out maybe the image of a slow kiss might be even stronger.

cheryl

Logged

"A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness." ~ Robert Frost

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #16 on: July 26, 2009, 02:40:44 PM » by Tom Riordan

Happy for the nits, Cheryl, thank you for the attention. I may just be enjoying rewriting this last couplet too much! Tom

Logged

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #17 on: July 26, 2009, 03:01:56 PM » by Lynn Doiron

I like the Up and Down of this, Tom. The juxtaposition of gods-directed productivity and the repair of pantyhose and slow kisses. Think I must pick. Yep. Think I must.

Logged

My blogs:
http://lwww.lynndoiron.wordpress.com for memoir/journal/poetry

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #18 on: July 31, 2009, 09:32:44 AM » by Jay Dougherty

Just a lovely piece, Tom. I'm sitting in for Desiree this week as front page picker. This gets the nod.

Logged

I do not like to write. I like to have written. --Gloria Steinam

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #19 on: July 31, 2009, 09:38:52 AM » by ca.leverette

Absolutely awesome discovering this here.

c

Logged

"A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness." ~ Robert Frost

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #20 on: July 31, 2009, 09:40:02 AM » by jamesthomashoward

I hadn't had the pleasure of reading this previously. Superb, Tom.

james

Logged

Cough.

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #21 on: July 31, 2009, 10:43:26 AM » by Tiko Lewis

Love how this jumped from negative to positive. Love the vibe and feel. I very much enjoyed.

Tiko

Logged

...i don't eat jelly beans afterward.

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #22 on: July 31, 2009, 11:54:26 AM » by Mike Barrett

love at first sight for me; great choice for the front page.

Logged

.. . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #23 on: July 31, 2009, 12:23:17 PM » by Lynn Doiron

Bravo! you poet you.

ld

Logged

My blogs:
http://lwww.lynndoiron.wordpress.com for memoir/journal/poetry

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #24 on: July 31, 2009, 05:38:10 PM » by Kevin Jackson

Great to see you on the front page Tom. Well deserved with this fine pen.

k

Logged

Find out more about me and my poems at http://kevnjacksn.wordpress.com/

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #25 on: August 04, 2009, 09:56:25 AM » by Erica Smith

This is so good. I love the second stanza; it surprised me in a really cool way. I wasn't expecting it to be romantic, but it worked really well.
Erica

Logged

"The more I think it over, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." -Vincent van Gogh

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #26 on: August 05, 2009, 09:56:18 AM » by StellaR

I finally took the time to savour this exquisite work, Tom
missed the revisions but as is, the ending sent a tingle to my toes...
oh, yeah....very good

well-deserved honour!

Stella

Logged

“Logical argument is what destroys poetry because poetry is beyond logic.” Robert Graves

Re: Pace and Salvation
« Reply #27 on: August 12, 2009, 11:03:41 AM » by Tom Riordan

Oh my goodness! I'm going right back to Cape Verde! Thank you for the pick, Lynn, and for the feature, Jay, and for the reads, compadres! What a nice welcome Home. Tom

Logged

(Read 3272 times) 1 [2] All

Jump to:

MemberTools

Home
Help
Calendar
Members List
Statistics
Login
Register

LatestNews

Poetry Circle editorial concept.

SiteStats

191174 Posts
18120 Topics
1517 Members
Latest Member: David Gwilym Anthony

Support PoetryCircle