well Tom I liked the other version too!...ah..well..  LOL

Thanks Raven & Stella. Sorry I can't quite find the key to this one....Tom

Stopped back by.  Interesting changes.  Just a thought, but perhaps end with penultimate line .... ?  That line as an ending allows reader to form/bring own opinion into play.

ld

It's a good idea, Lynn. I actually did that in one draft, was dissatisfied too. Am still dissatisfied. This one has a hole in it, as you initially said. It's just not enough poem, so I don't know what to do about the details. Tom

Ha! I was wondering where this had gotten to. :)