Epistemology

PoetryCircle

ContemporaryPoetryForum

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

« PoetryCircle • The Writing • Journalese • Topic: Epistemology »

ThreadTools

(Read 2326 times) 1 2 [All]

Epistemology
« on: July 01, 2009, 06:25:06 PM » by Tom Riordan

I dream of a volume control on my router.
When I awake, the internet is running faster.
Imagination? Coincidence? Verizon boosted
its signal & my sleeping brain picked up on it?

At the faculty lunch last week did Annie's eyes
greet our epistemology maven, Tim McCusker?
Imagination? Coincidence? That big Christmas
rhubarb still rumbling inside our digestive system?

I email that to my brother.
He: OMG! ANNIEs CHEATING ON U?
I: Why ask that & not ANNIES A PROFESSOR 2?
He: U WROTE IT, MORE LIKELY, RUNS N FAMILY

I email Annie: R U BZ QT?
She: BZR THN U IC. L8R

I doublecheck the router: just On/Off & Reset.
Dream is too fucked up: leave well enough alone.

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2009, 01:43:35 AM » by ca.leverette

Now this I love. Sounds a little like your 'Deixis'.

cheryl

Logged

"A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness." ~ Robert Frost

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2009, 01:49:04 AM » by Marc-Andre Germain

An interesting read, Tom, with a nice punch at the end. The set-u is too long for it, but the repetition (literary, math, science) manages to hold the piece together.

Mark

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2009, 10:43:45 AM » by Tom Riordan

Very glad you enjoyed, Cheryl.
Mark, you too. Thank you for comments. I streamlined it some this morning. --Tom

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2009, 12:57:21 PM » by Lynn Doiron

fun and fast read. a feeling of incompleteness for me, but that may pass when i return to read again. ld

Logged

My blogs:
http://lwww.lynndoiron.wordpress.com for memoir/journal/poetry

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2009, 09:37:18 PM » by Tom Riordan

Thank you, Lynn. I always find a response like yours exciting, since overcompleteness is my more usual tendency! Tom

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2009, 10:35:40 PM » by Tom Riordan

Quote from: Tom Riordan on July 01, 2009, 06:25:06 PM

I dreamt I found a volume switch
on my wireless internet router.
When I woke, it ran faster.

Imagination?
Coincidence?
Verizon boosted its signal overnight
and my brain detected it and put it
in my dream?

At lunch I think I saw your eyes dart
to our epistemology maven, Carson,
who went to MLA with you in Frisco.

Imagination?
Coincidence?
The fight we had on Christmas
still in our digestive system?

I emailed those first four stanzas
to my mom, who flamed back
ANNE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR?!?

I emailed
Why do you ask that and not
'Are you both secret academics?'

She emailed
You wrote it!
It is statistically more likely!
It does run in the family!

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2009, 07:10:59 AM » by Marc-Andre Germain

Tom, I would reinsert the repetition of "literary, math, science." It made for an intriguing unifying-structure.

Mark

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #8 on: July 03, 2009, 01:03:39 PM » by maggie flanagan-wilkie

Tom, What if you asked a ? in the first stanza.

Does my brain detect it
and put it in my dream?

I think just wireless router; that it's related to the Internet is a given.

For me, the rhubarb and what happens in the next stanza isn't supporting what comes after.

Maggie

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #9 on: July 03, 2009, 05:57:41 PM » by Tom Riordan

Hear you, Mark, thank you. But it's so clunky too. Haven't solved it.

Maggie thank you: The tone. Haven't settled on it, nothing supports anything, you're right.. But I will make that last question in S1 simpler, shorter, and more obviously a question from the git-go. I guess you're right too about internet. Is everyone familiar with "wireless router"? I feared it would sound like a plumber's tool or something!

Tom

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #10 on: July 04, 2009, 09:33:09 AM » by maggie flanagan-wilkie

Duh!!

I meant the second stanza, Tom. Sorry about that.

Maggie

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #11 on: July 13, 2009, 05:18:28 PM » by Tom Riordan

Thanks!

...moving to submit

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2009, 09:03:22 AM » by Raven Marin

What do you mean by "Are you both secret academics?"

Logged

Not a chance
Whatever happened to fiery romance
Oh how I wish it was those dishes you were throwing
Damn you for being so easygoing

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2009, 09:08:29 AM » by Tom Riordan

Ah, sounds like a problem, Raven - thank you for asking. "'Are you both secret academics?'" or its successor line in newest draft "ANNIES A PROFESSOR 2?" were supposed to convey that L5-6, at least, were fiction(alized); the N's Annie is not actuallly a professor. Seems to have failed? Tom

Quote

I dream of a volume control on my router.
When I awake, the internet is running faster.
Imagination? Coincidence? Verizon boosted
its signal & my sleeping brain picked up on it?

At the faculty lunch last week did Annie's eyes
greet our epistemology maven, Tim McCusker?
Imagination? Coincidence? That big Christmas
rhubarb still rumbling inside our digestive system?

I email that to my brother.
He: OMG! ANNIEs CHEATING ON U?
I: Why ask that & not ANNIES A PROFESSOR 2?
He: U WROTE IT, MORE LIKELY, RUNS N FAMILY

I email Annie: R U BZ QT?
She: BZR THN U IC. L8R

I doublecheck the router: just On/Off & Reset.
Dream is too fucked up: leave well enough alone.

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2009, 10:35:56 AM » by Raven Marin

No, it makes sense now, only I liked the other version better. That's just an opinion though.

Logged

Not a chance
Whatever happened to fiery romance
Oh how I wish it was those dishes you were throwing
Damn you for being so easygoing

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2009, 03:36:50 PM » by Stella Jones

well Tom I liked the other version too!...ah..well.. LOL

Logged

StellaX

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2009, 05:08:11 PM » by Tom Riordan

Thanks Raven & Stella. Sorry I can't quite find the key to this one....Tom

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #17 on: July 16, 2009, 11:13:10 PM » by Lynn Doiron

Stopped back by. Interesting changes. Just a thought, but perhaps end with penultimate line .... ? That line as an ending allows reader to form/bring own opinion into play.

ld

Logged

My blogs:
http://lwww.lynndoiron.wordpress.com for memoir/journal/poetry

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #18 on: July 16, 2009, 11:27:19 PM » by Tom Riordan

It's a good idea, Lynn. I actually did that in one draft, was dissatisfied too. Am still dissatisfied. This one has a hole in it, as you initially said. It's just not enough poem, so I don't know what to do about the details. Tom

Logged

Re: Epistemology
« Reply #19 on: July 17, 2009, 01:58:29 AM » by Raven Marin

Ha! I was wondering where this had gotten to. :)

Logged

Not a chance
Whatever happened to fiery romance
Oh how I wish it was those dishes you were throwing
Damn you for being so easygoing

(Read 2326 times) 1 2 [All]

Jump to:

MemberTools

Home
Help
Calendar
Members List
Statistics
Login
Register

LatestNews

Like us on Facebook!

SiteStats

191173 Posts
18119 Topics
1517 Members
Latest Member: David Gwilym Anthony

Support PoetryCircle