sunlight through
beech trees and shrubs
greening the
sparse arrangement
of chairs and orchids
cushions and brass
shelves of ornate
glass and creamware
coffee too weak to
sputter verse before dawn

there was a time when
you would meet me here
conscience purged
a dance of string
the puppetry of
courting
risk

now the leaves
from copper beeches
fall too early in
the season

and you will never turn
your face this way again
you know I look too deeply
and you know, I see,
what I see




Stella Read
June 13, 2009

wow, I enjoy this.
stanza one lists without action, like a photo,
stanza two seems to be the thoughts of the person looking at the photo
the next stanzas talk about the photo in the present.

I like it.


 

thanks, scott.
it is, just as you say!
appreciate the read

Stella

Wonderful, Stella. Once the "copper beeches" hits in S3, I know I'm reading something special, its sound & sense echoes of S1 are just so perfect. So I start praying, "Stella...I know you got your pen around it...please don't get lost...bring it in..."--and you do. The last 2 lines phrased so well, and the play off the fact that the sun is now shining through too baldly on N. -Tom

stella never seem to disappoint and this piece is no exception.  i think scott read the poem just right, and i feel the same as he does.  that stream of conscience to begin is awesome, god knows how many images fly through my head when i think back on what once was.  that last stanza reads great. i know what i see, i like what i see. -lawrence

Tom, thanks for propping up my spirits with your kind reply :)


:) merci, Lawrence! that is my favourite way to write. try to keep changes to a minimum. most appreciated response. thanks again

Stella

ditto the 'wow' of earlier comment, stella.  I like this very much.  Especially the way the time turns and as it turns with the now there are copper beeches; a season has changed and with it a relationship and what is seen, is seen -- can't be hidden.

ld

thanks for the lovely reply, Lynn. most appreciated :)

Stella

great atmosphere! love the ending!

all the images well-wrought weave into each other like a lovely painting:

sunlight through
beech trees and shrubs
greening the
sparse arrangement
of chairs and orchids
cushions and brass
shelves of ornate
glass and creamware
coffee too weak to
sputter verse before dawn

Fear not.

merci beaucoup, rashmi, very kind

aww silent lotus  ~ so very sweet!

Tom, thank you!
what a nice surprise :)

Stella

Very nice Stella!!!  I love how "normal" the pictures are.  Very simple. Very potent, "you know I see what I see".  Spoken like a true woman.

Tiko

merci beaucoup, Tiko :)

Stella

Lots to like in this poem.  Especially like how the two commas in the second-last line slow the poem so that it stops right on the dime of its ending and doesn't crash on through.

Rick

First read was a wow, Stella.

Back later.  Maggie

Back for that other read, Stella, and I still say, Wow!!

My only thought would be to suggest moving risk up to the previous line.

Very Wow, Stella. Very Wow!!

Maggie

Stella - this is just so great - I'm so glad somebody commented on it again. Just love it.

Roger

silent, I see you are enjoying a romp through the archives!! thanks for pulling this one up too!

Roger, thank you for your kind words. always nice to have an old post brought forward.


Stella

It reads well aloud too. Kudos.

Hot Java.   More refills.

D

thank you kindly, Griffin
made me smile, Desiree! thanks!


Stella