The one time
the red leaf
makes sense
is mid April
when it is held
not completely
unfolded yet
to the naked
green bones
of a four-foot
sapling
  crossed arms
  on the chest
  of a cold child

This chills my bones;  and that's about all I can say. 

Nothing needed here as far as I can read. 
It's a done-deed.

c

Thanks for looking in, Cheryl. It's a cold spring up here. Tom

How about taking the 'like' out, and spacing before 'crossed arms'?

milner

Let me try, Milner, thanks. That "like" sticks in my craw a bit too, was thinking of "sapling, like" but I think your idea is much better. Let's try it. Tom

Probably worked well for everyone but me, Milner! I thought the stanza break there a bit melodramatic. Am glad to be shed of the "like," though, and am going to try a slight indent in place of full line space for punctuation. My only problem is destruction of sonnetness by grouping last 3 lines, but you can't make eggs without breaking some omelettes.

Yes, think that does it, Tom. Possibly a slightly bigger indent? Dunno.

Cheers

milner

Dear Tom
As long as we are still in the sandbox at the workshop.....
i thought you might allow me to play a little.
smiles
sl

Can't blame me for trying. Doubled it.

Silent! What a lovely gift! Very beautiful, and I feel honored to be made Silent like this. What a difference the layouts make, yours so lush and my original version especially so austere. Te result is two very different, if equally appealing, poems. In addition to a fine gift, a stunning lesson in what layout does. Tom

I understand why you use the word "pedophile" in the title, but this is such a lovely poem and pedophile is such an ugly word.

And please forgive me if I'm belaboring a point.  Just couldn't stand not to say it.  I thought someone else might.

(anonymous kaisetsusha)

It's a tough word and a scary image to introduce into the poem, Cheryl, but I think it belongs there. Is there a synonym for "pedophile"? Maybe. I should look into it. Thanks, Tom

No, not really, I suppose.  I think it belongs there too.

I hope I'm not stating the obvious: I assumed you were swiping or otherwise referencing the maple leaf from MacLeish's Ars Poetica, or am I wrong? But if it's the Ars Poetica kind of maple leaf, why does it need to be a Japanese maple? Almost any maple leaf will turn red. A Japanese Maple is red all the time, that's true. The red I imagine as the blood of the child (the four-foot sapling) who has been murdered by a pedophile. Have I completely misunderstood the intentions? Wouldn't be the first time, I suppose.

R.L. thanks for reading and writing in. You have never once written anything obvious in your whole time at PC -- just once I wish you would! But no, not thinking of teh MacLeish leaf (say 6x fast) you mention, but sounds like it behooves me to read up on that. As to intentions of poem, originally it was just being struck by red on green of jap map leaves this week, and from there, it has assumed a life (or death) of its own. It's all so frought, to me, I don't have a specific intended read. Yours is near one end of the spectrum, the innocent poem about leaves near the other, and I have about 8 in between! -Tom

Ars Poetica     
by Archibald MacLeish 

 
A poem should be palpable and mute
As a globed fruit,

Dumb
As old medallions to the thumb,

Silent as the sleeve-worn stone
Of casement ledges where the moss has grown—

A poem should be wordless
As the flight of birds.

                 *

A poem should be motionless in time
As the moon climbs,

Leaving, as the moon releases
Twig by twig the night-entangled trees,

Leaving, as the moon behind the winter leaves,
Memory by memory the mind—

A poem should be motionless in time
As the moon climbs.

                  *

A poem should be equal to:
Not true.

For all the history of grief
An empty doorway and a maple leaf. <--- this is what I thought you were referencing

For love
The leaning grasses and two lights above the sea—

A poem should not mean
But be.

Ah! Well then, I'm going to take the 5th on your intention question and just say "A poem should not mean/But be"!
Have to remember that, so I can sound more accomplished when I say "I don't know"! Seriously, thanks for posting this. -Tom

Moving this to Journalese, as I'm not currently working on it to Submit, having cannibalized S1 for "The one time" and submitted that.