Aunt Laurel smokes weed--

Aunt Laurel lives in Phoenix
sells nickel bags full of
stems and seeds;
says life is smooth as velvet.
Her fingers ride the table top,
glide across the white Formica, tap
ashes into the amber tray.

When she was a child
she rode a teal-green bike,
ate crisp Granny Smiths plucked
from a neighbor's tree. Today,
Grandma prays to the Lord,

seeks divine illumination, pays
three fifty to spring
Auntie Laurel from jail.
Grandma shakes her head, spits
on the Birmingham Times.

the colour mentions add so well to your descriptions, and the lady/women is a super character, like it
jerry

Sherry, the first 2 lines kill me, love them. 4-6 wonderful too.
"neighbors" = "neighbor's"?
Love "Grandma shakes her head
and spits on the Birmingham Times."
I'd maybe end there; if not, "Todays" = "Today's"?
Some very good poem here.
-Tom

Many thanks.  A few edits made.

"Her fingers ride the table top,
gliding across the white Formica, tapping
ashes into the amber tray."
Really wonderful image here, Sherry. I like the breadth of this poem.

Enjoyed this Sherry. A few small suggestions.

L3 nix she? Oh, or bags of?
glide for gliding?
tap for tapping?
Nix just from next to last line? Doesn't really make sense after the praying and paying.

I enjoyed the details, like how Aunt becomes Auntie in the last S, suggesting Grandma's voice. Nice.

B.

I really like this. So much voice. I love 'just' I'm a fan of the word in such big ways though and feel it holds probably more than it does.
S1 is definitely my favourite, a very inviting start.

Good eye.  Thanks, B.

One other thing Sherry. Does Phoenix have a significance that is lost on this Englishman? It's not a problem at all, but wondered if I was missing out on something that other readers might enjoy.

B.

Very good poem. I liked it alot. The beginning and ending stanzas really stand out good.
Michael

This poem was written using:  Apple, bicycle, phoenix, velvet and lord.  It also used a fortune from a Chinese fortune cookie which was the deleted last two lines in the first draft.

Laurel lives in Phoenix and that one word inspired the poem.  I am enjoying my Sunday workshop.

Sherry

This must have gone down well in the workshop, as it does for me, Sherry.

Cheers

milner

Nice strong voice, good details.  (love the teal bike, white formica, and spitting on the Times.) 

 I am impressed at how much you have grown in a relatively short time---every aspect of your poetry makes it obvious that you are thinking, working, learning.   I'm excited for you!   Looking forward to more, Sherry.
Lynne

Coming from you that is a HUGE compliment.  I am humbled, sincerely humbled and thankful that I have had such wonderful friends and teachers who have had the patience (and stomach) to read my words as I have learned to drag them through the ranks.

Sherry

I like how this portrays a family relationship.  Mind if I tinker a bit?

Aunt Laurel smokes weed--
Aunt Laurel lives in Phoenix[,]
and sells nickel bags of weed;
says life is smooth like velvet.
Her fingers ride the table top,
glide across the white Formica, tap
ashes into the amber tray.

When she was a child
she rode a teal-green bike,
ate crisp Granny Smiths plucked
from a neighbor's tree. Today,
Grandma prays to the Lord

she prays for illumination [,]and pays
three hundred and fifty to spring
Auntie Laurel from jail.
Grandma shakes her head
and spits on the Birmingham Times.

???
What think you?

Rick

I like what you did here and hmmm?  Will need to ponder losing that first line.  On EP I have it separated by a double space.  Let me roll it around.  Many thanks. BTW, great Dickinson quote.

Oh, I vote for keeping the first line. Especially with the line break. It lends a certain quirkiness to the voice, and with the dashes it reads like a false start, the speaker starting the story in the middle and then backtracking. It establishes voice very well, very soon. I also like the repetition of prays in last S but agree that she could be cut.

Grandma prays to the Lord,

she prays for illumination and pays
three hundred and fifty to spring


B.

You know, I am kinda fond of that first line too.  Hard to give up the little darlin' but "she" has been taken out.  Thanks.

Sherry

In her poem, 'Family Business', Sherry brings out one of those truly southern stories we like to tell over the backyard fence, or on the front porch, or standing in line at the Piggly Wiggly.

The language is conversational, the poem is both humorous and pointed, the opening line informing the reader that something scandalous is about to be told.

It is Grandma, though, who proves to be the lifeblood of the poem (as well as the family).  We know it pains her Christian beliefs to have bail out her daughter who has committed what is surely a sin in the Lord's eye.  Grandma knows blood is thicker than water, for that too, is something her Bible tells her.  In the end, she realizes times have changed, and not necessarily for the better.

The mark of a good poem is the reader's ability to recall lines long after they've read it.  I dare you to forget 'Aunt Laurel smokes weed --'

Tim

Actually, it  was meth and Auntie Laurel's claim to fame was a feature on 48 Hours and a trip to the pokie.  Poor, poor, Grandma. May God rest her soul.

Thanks, Tim.  Gotta run and stir the grits. :)

Sherry

Great choice, Tim, and for all the reasons you mention. Maggie

Hi Sherry:

Great poem!!! Good to see your work again.

(and from our last conversation - I guess you are not a figment of my late afternoon's imagination).

Best Always,
John 

Johhn!  Not a figment at all!  Great to see you here.  Thanks, Maggie.

Sherry

Congrats, Sherry! Tom

I like how the weed of adulthood regresses into the greens of childhood.

Wonderful front page pick.

Thanks, Tom and Lavonne.

woooooo-HOOO! 
 :) happy to see this, sher-bear!