they don’t get it, do they?

not saying
more than
twenty words
to each other
the whole afternoon,
we planted and
hosed and
scrubbed
the entire yard,
getting the place
ready for summer.

when we were done,
your shoes
and jeans
were soaked…

my hands were sore
and my neck
was stiff.

we came in the house,
ate a salad
and fell asleep
in front of the tv.

this is the gift…

and i am
one of the few
lucky enough
to have solved
its mystery.

Love this one, John. Gonna be a pick, later.

milner

Thought you might Mil.

Far Far FAR stronger if ended at gift.

Just an honest opinion John.

B.

I agree with both Milner and Brian, though it's nice to end a poem with "mystery."

Rick

Agree with Milner and Brian and Rick. Oh, we're ganging up now, John. Seriously, this is quite wonderful. Seriously, last S is flat (and title, I think, too). The "gift" in the penultimate stanza is, already, the ability to appreciate, right?--somebody else could do the same overt activities and write "this is the hell." So it's unnecessary, and anyway, why take credit for a gift? As to title, what does it matter whether other people appreciate their lives, marriages, whatever? That's maybe another poem. Keep the simple purity that is this one's calling card, IMHO. -Tom

i like how this ends, id say keep it as is.

Suiting the action... up she goes.

milner

thank you, Milner! 

Oh. I like this quite a bit. Such love and easiness. Really lovely.

i hate explaining myself.  i really really do.  it sounds egotistical and there's no safe way to get around it.  in doing so, one always looks bad.  but if i ended the poem at "gift" it'd be a nice safe normal poem.  tacking on the last stanza makes it mine.
john

It certainly does John, won't argue with that.

Cheers.

B.

thanks, Brian!  and Lotus...man, you beat me to it!
thanks.
john

I take back my suggestion about dropping the last S. This is more than a simple paean, and when John said the last S “makes it mine”, I think he means that it extends the poem into one of his key themes.

“I left this turd” frankly and ironically asked the question “of what possible interest is to others is something that I value simply because it came from me?” This poem goes further, I see, in its S. The N says “full enjoyment of these deep, simple things is a great gift—but wait, what I really enjoy too is feeling superior to other people who just don’t get it like I do!” The persistent presence of narcissistic thinking even in the full enjoyment of other “more advanced” pleasures is a truth and a good theme. Took me a while... -Tom

Simply I feel this poem deserves more chances to be red, I mean to stay a while on the “front page”.
Vasile