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Here's My Butt and Here's My Back, Pressed to Wooden Slats

By Lance Rocks, Jul 14, 2015.

More work by Lance Rocks
  1. Lance Rocks

    Lance Rocks Never Force Supporter Editor

    .
    Much like the model
    in Duchamp's famous painting,
    I'm nude at a table
    on a balcony in Montmartre.

    Unlike Duchamp's model
    I'm not descending,
    but seated at the table
    eating Rainier cherries
    while skillfully spitting pits
    out to the cobblestone street
    far below.

    I'm excited to be nude
    on this balcony tonight
    in humid weather, eating
    these cherries for my art.
    Thanks to Duchamp and to his cubist innovation,
    I present my scene from multiple perspectives:
    my nakedness at table;
    the shine of yellow-red cherries;
    pits as they fly from my mouth.
     
  2. H Lemma

    H Lemma It's just the normal noises in here..

    Ha ha..the Europeans accept nudity much more than Americans.
     
    Starr and Lance Rocks like this.
  3. TrishSaunders

    TrishSaunders Member Supporter Editor

    Ha, Lance, know the painting very well, have always loved it...

    your poem a pleasure to read.
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  4. Tom Riordan

    Tom Riordan member Supporter

    Super, Lance! Tom
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  5. Lance Rocks

    Lance Rocks Never Force Supporter Editor

    Thank you H, Trish and Tom!
     
  6. ljordan

    ljordan Well-Known Member Supporter

    Lance, great image at the end of the wooden slats, clearly evoking some of the painting. Wonder if it could end with that and either make the editorial comments about writing earlier, or commit them altogether?

    Butt and back on slats is brilliant to the surface of the painting.

    larry
     
  7. Lance Rocks

    Lance Rocks Never Force Supporter Editor

    Good suggestion, Larry!

    Between you and me, I posted this today as an afterthought to "Cafe Lacombe," a poem of ideas rather than of images.

    Rescued this one ("Spitting Pits") from my Unused Paris file to represent imagistic writing - a last-minute ploy to win favor today, I'm afraid.

    ***

    As you so note, the idea of the piece (that it might become to creative writing as "Nude Descending" is to painting) is, shall we say, superficial and tongue-in-cheek.

    (Hence I allowed myself a Jester's close.)

    Larry, I will sit and think whether this piece might be anything more than a shallow joke - would love to get other readers' opinion on this question!

    ***

    How much does the Narrator *really* want to (or expect to) change the face of poetry?

    ("Creative writing," he calls it.)

    The Narrator may have a seriousness of purpose the author of this piece has yet to grasp or appreciate. If such is the case, it requires another draft per your suggestion.

    ***

    Thank you, Larry. Will spend some time thinking, see what happens.

    I generally resolve these questions on the same day they arise...sometimes late.

    :   = )  Lance
     
  8. TrishSaunders

    TrishSaunders Member Supporter Editor

    not everybody knows Duchamps' infamous Nude Descending a Staircase(reviled in its day by a lot of philistines), but it doesn't make the poem an 'in joke' in my opinion, Lance.
    I agree with Larry, the 'here's my butt and here's  back' is so fundamental, down to earth, unpretentious.
    (must have felt good in the hot sun).
     
    David Belcher likes this.
  9. Anna Ruiz

    Anna Ruiz I have the same religion as that tree over there. Supporter

    Love love love this poem, in all its forms of brilliance.
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  10. Lance Rocks

    Lance Rocks Never Force Supporter Editor

    Great! Thank you, Trish! (And thank you for Feature!)

    Will go make the deletion best I can right now. Will study for other changes, as well.

    Thanks again.
     
  11. Anna Ruiz

    Anna Ruiz I have the same religion as that tree over there. Supporter

    The art of the reveal is to know when to conceal.  But then you don't care what I write, do you Lance.  Seems to me we were friends when you first joined, and I have no clue what happened.  

    But that's beside the point, eh?  Poetry is poetry.  Friendship and ignorance is friendship and ignorance... learning when to ignore and who to ignore.  The why is hardly ever questioned.
     
    Desiree Wright likes this.
  12. Lance Rocks

    Lance Rocks Never Force Supporter Editor

    >>>The art of the reveal is knowing when to conceal.<<<

    Thanks for your kind comment, Anna!
     
  13. Anna Ruiz

    Anna Ruiz I have the same religion as that tree over there. Supporter

  14. Giles B

    Giles B Well-Known Member Supporter

    A lovely scene, Lance, delicious humour as well.  The thought of you naked with cherries kinda scary somehow in a disturbing sort of way too!:

    I'm excited to be nude
    on this balcony tonight
    in humid weather, eating
    these cherries for my art.



    ;)
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  15. TrishSaunders

    TrishSaunders Member Supporter Editor

    I love the title change, Lance!
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  16. Lance Rocks

    Lance Rocks Never Force Supporter Editor

    All done.

    Thanks to everyone, but especially to Larry and to Trish.
     
  17. TrishSaunders

    TrishSaunders Member Supporter Editor

    yw, lance
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  18. Vidya Panicker

    Vidya Panicker Well-Known Member Supporter

    Immensely enjoyed the work!
     
    Lance Rocks and TrishSaunders like this.
  19. Frank Bulb

    Frank Bulb Well-Known Member Supporter

    A lovely scene and a lovely humour!
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  20. brendan christopher

    brendan christopher the only private eye that mattered Supporter

    I liked this, especially the ending, Lance.

    Didn't care for the alliteration, here.  I would cut "skillfully" as it doesn't add much to the read. I would cut "in humid weather" as well as I'm not sure how that adds to our understanding of the scene.
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  21. Lance Rocks

    Lance Rocks Never Force Supporter Editor

    Deleted "in humid weather" per your suggestion, brendan - thank you!

    Keeping "skillfully" as I prefer the meter as-is.

    Thanks again for reading and for your comments!

    Lance
     
  22. Paul Brookes

    Paul Brookes second most unwanted member Supporter

    It could be said, as of Duchamp, you create a field where language, thought and vision act on one another.
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  23. Keith Morley

    Keith Morley Well-Known Member

    Now there's an image, very well observed and the cubism adds a real twist......if that makes sense? Best Keith
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  24. Jay Dougherty

    Jay Dougherty Well Worn Editor

    Fun poem, and looks great on the front page.

    This reminds me of some of Richard Brautigan's work.
     
    Vidya Panicker and Lance Rocks like this.
  25. Lance Rocks

    Lance Rocks Never Force Supporter Editor

    >>> looks great on the front page<<<

    Thank you, Jay! I had a lot of help on this from the Membership.

    Doing this Paris series is interesting because I've never done anything like it before. Learning a lot!
     
  26. Jay Dougherty

    Jay Dougherty Well Worn Editor

    Well, Europe--or just getting away--can be inspiring indeed.
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  27. Jenn Zed

    Jenn Zed Solid State Gynoid Supporter Editor

    Stylishly executed portrait and movement through this.

    Can't fault it, just enjoyed it. ;)
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  28. Jon Klein

    Jon Klein Waiting for Godot

    I like poems about butt cracks. They're rare. I was hoping this would be another one to add to the list. It wasn't.

    That's okay, though. It was good anyway.
     
    Lance Rocks likes this.
  29. Michael Ashley

    Michael Ashley Fuckwit Extraordinaire Editor

    Lovely Lance! Congrats on FP presentation. 'tis fab!
     
    Lance Rocks and Vidya Panicker like this.
  30. maggie flanagan-wilkie

    maggie flanagan-wilkie Well-Known Member Supporter