1. European Union compliance message: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Please log in or sign up to comment.
    Dismiss Notice
More work by Daniel J. Flore III
  1. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

    ASH

    my head is without reason
    and I wanna know why
    pale exhaustion,
    sex,
    open shutter sun
    detour in my zipper teeth
    I saw the last light of the night go out.
    I screamed at you because you weren't there.
    3 matches,
    a smoker's outpost,
    steam lines on the chatbox windows,
    and I want the mist on the inside of you.
    I noticed that nobody is saying anything
    they have barely even said hello.
    have you ever watched yourself eat your own ego?
    God is sweeping the basement floor and I'm trying to find a dustpan.
    send me sweet laugh lines we can call corny.
    you look like the life I killed.
    my jello thoughts are half price shots
    and over 21 looks at the bar
    I'm dying,
    tell the clouds
    to put me back down.
     
  2. Tim J Brennan

    Tim J Brennan Well-Known Member

    A lot in there.  

    "jello thoughts are half price shots" is kinda catchy.
     
    Daniel J. Flore III likes this.
  3. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

    Thanks :)
     
  4. Michael Ashley

    Michael Ashley Fuckwit Extraordinaire Editor

    Very nice Dan. On form I reckon the line break could be used to further amplify certain points.

    Mike
     
    Daniel J. Flore III likes this.
  5. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

    Thanks Mike and thanks for the feature. I was thinking that too, that maybe breaking off some lines into stanzas would give some of this more effect.
     
  6. Cheryl.Leverette

    Cheryl.Leverette ginmuse by mistercalm (Drew Johnson)

    great line:

    have you ever watched yourself eat your own ego?

    been there!  lots of times!
     
    Daniel J. Flore III likes this.
  7. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
     
    Cheryl.Leverette likes this.
  8. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

    I have reformatted this...
     
  9. Jay Dougherty

    Jay Dougherty Well Worn Supporter Editor

  10. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

    Thanks Jay.
     
  11. silent lotus

    silent lotus _-_== Loiterer ==_-_ Supporter

    dear Dan

    this is very very fine writing

    only

    are you perhaps suffering from


    TIAD

    Trump-Induced Anxiety Disorder

    Don’t despair.
    Let writer/director Sam Friedlander tell you about Impeachara,
    the solution for your Donald Trump–era symptoms.
    Finally, there’s help.




    `
     
  12. Jay Dougherty

    Jay Dougherty Well Worn Supporter Editor

  13. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

    Thanks silent lotus.
     
  14. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

  15. Cheryl.Leverette

    Cheryl.Leverette ginmuse by mistercalm (Drew Johnson)

  16. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

    Thanks.
     
    Cheryl.Leverette likes this.
  17. Cheryl.Leverette

    Cheryl.Leverette ginmuse by mistercalm (Drew Johnson)

    You're welcome!
     
    Daniel J. Flore III likes this.
  18. Betty Re

    Betty Re Guest



    I liked this poem since you were creating images of love that was gone and how much you were hurting from the loss.
     
  19.  
  20. Daniel J. Flore III

    Daniel J. Flore III Well-Known Member

    Thank you Betty Re.