i am inhumanly alone but it is alright
it still hurts that i am human
i’m not an anomaly i would love a cup of aromatic tea
and a friendly pat on my back if i’m choking
i’d wish to write a love poem // oh yes i’m the great pretender //
to see what is still mine after talking nineteen to the dozen
about the man who never loved me

at first there were too many songs // i danced embracing my own self
i danced the silence the sun the rain the noises on the street the heartbeat the happiness
like a china ballet dancer spinning on a table
i danced in the name of my loneliness
// sono la ragazza senza amore sopra il mare della gioventù //
behind the curtains there were the black speakers
i danced only in the midst of white days // i let my arms fall gently my fingers extended
i swirled in pirouettes until rain fell down
behind the window blinds too heavy clouds breaking // slanting water streams released
i became a lily with my hands arched over me like stamens
sliding growing rolling from head to toes

if he loved me i would like to lie down stretched in opposite directions
with only the front of our heads touching like clouds
like a kiss from afar
to be purposely foolish to let me rest my eyelid in the notch of his elbow
but what kind of daimonic man would have loved me enough
to sleep peacefully beside me