I understand
trying to ease the monsters.
They never really settle,
do they?

It’s not really you
or him or anyone.
It’s me.

I can’t show affection
or friendship.
I hate the hate,
the jealousy,
the competition.

Everything
seems
ruined.

My heart hurts.
It beats too fast

like a bird,
a butterfly,
a hummingbird,

searching
for a safe place
to drink.


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Image by Helge Weber.